I started volunteering at the psychiatric clinic, tomorrow is my second time there and it’s great for 3 hours. I also get to help people and also be out of my room for a little while.
My doc decreased my Geodon from 120 mg to 100. I am taking 20 in the morning and 80 in the evening and feeling a lot better this way.
I had a chat with my SO two days ago about finally moving out. He was devastated. Didn’t eat or sleep for a day but he’s not taking any action to improve things. He just guilts me into staying because we love each other.
Once I become more financially stable, I will definitely move out. I applied to several jobs but not sure what to do next. I am just taking my time to plan things well but I don’t want this life anymore. It’s not easy to love someone who cannot give you the things you need.
A new guy seems interested in me. I cannot decide yet why though. Sometimes I get the feeling he is very serious. I don’t want to give much details but I don’t know him well enough. I am just unsure what the days will bring. He probably has no clue about how crazy I am, it might terrify him. I just wondered why a perfectly successful person would be interested in me when he’s surrounded with tons of amazing women 
If I move out, I want to be alone for 2 years before dating anyone new. Just focus on having a good time with friends, working, saving money and spending time with my cat. I just feel so weak to ditch someone I love other than the mental instability.
