Ok so I’m putting this under this category because it really aggrivates my SZ when people do this. Over the course of my life, I’ve had so many people who come to me for ongoing advice. I don’t mind helping a good friend with a personal problem every once in a while, but literally people I’ve JUST MET will message me continuously and just vent to me or ask for help about their every little problem. The most memorable ones are this girl in 8th grade I didn’t even know who I spoke to once and she added me on Facebook and for three years she flirted with me despite me telling her to back off and constantly messaged me about how she was depressed and wanted to kill herself. My ex bf kept me with him by saying he’d kill himself if I left cuz he was homeless and broke and had nothing left to live for. I have a friend now who complains about EVERYTHING and always comes to me asking for advice about her day to day life that any normal person would not need advice for. And my fiancé has a friend who I’ve met in person ONCE and he immediately started messaging me about his drug addictions and how he wants to overdose and die and how life is miserable and stuff like that. And those are just a few examples. This happens to me CONSTANTLY!! And often with people I barely know. Like I have schizophrenia and all these people know it. Why the ■■■■ would anyone think that’s it’s ok to ask me for help on every little thing when I’m really a mess myself? And it puts so much stress on me! Like how do you tell someone who says they’re suicidal to ■■■■ off because it’s not your problem? I do NOT want to be anyone’s therapist, especially people I just met. I’m sick of people meeting me and immediately thinking that they can tell me their deepest darkest feelings. It just fuels my paranoia and delusions and it stresses me out because what if I don’t listen to them and then they actually kill themselves or something?! And the fact that I got pregnant hasn’t stopped people from doing this. You’d think they’d be more considerate and not burden a mentally ill pregnant woman with problems that aren’t her responsibility. It’s too much and it makes me not wanna meet new people or trust anyone. What do I even do about this?
I have been single for many years, the only time I heard from my friends (or so called) was when they were fighting or breaking up, life falling apart and then I could not get rid of them, I realized everyone was not asking me over to the BBQ or where ever when things were good, just remembered me when times were bad. Never could figure that out, but I left my home town and them behind.
Sort of what your going through I guess, Don’t know why people do that
AND THEY NEVER HELP YOU WHEN YOU NEED THEM!!! None of these people that have so desperately needed my help are ever there for me when I’M having a rough time. I hate people. They take and take and suck you dry and never give back even a little
On the one hand you could take it as a compliment. Like, people think that while you may have problems you are also handling them well so maybe you know something they don’t. However, yeah, that should usually go away when you are pregnant. My experience with pregnant friends is everyone treats them like delicate porcelain dolls meant to be revered and never bothered.
It’s not that I’m not flattered that people think I’m trustworthy, it’s just that I can’t handle the stress of making sure other people don’t kill themselves. A mentally ill person doesn’t need that kind of stress. It’s also destroying my ability to be positive myself. All these people feeding negative thoughts to me is a real huge downer and makes it hard for me to be positive
@PrincessKenny I’m having trouble with school, its really hard, I don’t know anyone there. Do you have any advice?
Oh my god lol you’re killing me 
Join clubs and sports teams lolol
Did your costume party go alright BTW?
Yes! Thank you I just made a big cardboard sign with a speech bubble that said “Mommy had a costume, but it’s not big enough for the two of us” and hung it around my neck lol
When it comes to messages: don’t open them, don’t read them, and just mute the conversation. Believe me, no one’s gonna kill themselves because you didn’t respond to their message.
And if they ask your bf or you in real conversation about it, say that you don’t feel good lately and have a lot of issues yourself.
Just stop replying and they will eventually give up.
( based on my experience with annoying guys)
I have a similar problem, @PrincessKenny, I just stopped answering when it’s obvious there isn’t anything I can do to help. When there is I keep it short and recovery oriented, it turns out most of them just want to talk about their lives and how miserable they are. If you’re in the mood to listen and it wouldn’t hurt you, that’s okay. But it’s also okay to say “Sorry, can’t deal with more than myself right now”, putting your mental health first it’s your priority, and it should be theirs also.
Maybe a good response when one of them corners you would be to say, "I am not a therapist, so I wouldn’t have an opinion on that. If they persist, keep saying “I don’t know. I’m not a therapist.” That, and avoidance, might help.
Thanks I’m gonna start just not replying and see what happens. Gotta take care of myself
You’re right I just need to start setting boundaries for people in terms of when they need to back off. It always does seem like no matter how much I talk to them they never get any better, they really do just wanna talk about being miserable
And I’d be totally justified in saying that because I’m not a therapist so I don’t know how to even help these people anyway
I agree with what everyone else said. It is perfectly okay to set boundaries for yourself. You are not responsible for the lives of everyone around you. And if someone says they want to kill themselves, maybe just tell one of their parents or family members and leave it at that. These people are probably somebody’s responsibility, just not yours.
Unfortunately I’m at the age where most people I know are not under the influence of their parents anymore, but I do agree that they’re not my responsibility. Especially if they’re not gonna be there for me when I need help. I wouldn’t mind helping people so much if they would return the kindness but I’ve never gotten help from someone who I’ve helped in the past. Done with these selfish people in my life. And my fiancé is so done too, he’s getting real tired of people who are stressing me out unnecessarily
I’d suggest directly informing the person that you do not have the time or energy to continue communication with them. Many of these people sound very mentally ill and are just seeking someone to talk to. At least let them know that you no longer have time to talk with them on a regular basis to give them some closure. Many of these people have likely been rejected over and over again their entire life and are simply looking for a friend. If you simply cut off all communication without letting them know ahead of time, then they’ll likely try to contact you many more times. Furthermore, it’s very rude and inconsiderate to abruptly cutoff communication with someone without letting them know you will not be replying again.
Maybe so, but I’m done being polite with these people. I help and help and help and not a single one of these people has ever been there for me when I needed help. Talk about rude. And even ruder of them to dump all their crap on me when I’m pregnant and under strict doctor’s orders to keep my stress level low. All of this, I tell people. When people ask me for help I tell them I’m schizophrenic and not a therapist and that my doctor told me to keep my stress level as low as possible for my health and my baby’s health. I just don’t think people who ignore my health just to have a “venting buddy” deserve politeness
If you’ve already directly told them to stop contacting you and they continue anyways, they’re the ones being rude and you’re fully justified in never responding again.
My point was to at least let them know that you’re not going to return their messages so they’ll hopefully leave you alone and go elsewhere.