Really Struggling

Thanks! I’m impressed you remembered about my car. I just sold it to my mechanic the other day. He’s going to scrap it. I can’t do a lot of stim. In the past it would spike my psychosis. Last night I couldn’t focus and was getting anxious. It was sensory overload. Thank you for saying it’s not my fault. I held off telling my mom I needed to go and then when she said well a little longer, I thought to myself I’m only telling you I need to leave because it’s urgent if I could hold off I wouldn’t have said anything. I know my mom hasn’t seen her friend in a year but my health is more important.

I do have a pdoc that’s I just started seeing. I don’t like her though. I told her the Lexapro is working great but it has sexual side effects. With being in a relationship that’s not good. So she switched me to Brintillex because supposedly that doesn’t have sexual side effects. I pick it up and the pamphlet says causes sexual side effects. I call the pharmacist and she tells me all SSRIs have that side effect. That in a trial study Lexapro and Brintillex compared the same with that side effect, but I might react differently to this new one. Not only that she started me out at 10mg and that’s it that would be my dose. The starting dose is rarely the therapeutic dose. So I didn’t take it. I get horrible panic attacks that last for hours and you want me to transition to a new med that causes the same side effects. Are these doctors on crack?!? Sorry I’m a little peeved about my recent interactions with my pdoc’s office. So she may be the director there but I don’t trust her. I’m going to try to find a private psychiatrist. I feel like I have to play to many games with their office instead of being upfront and honest. “I really need to call the nurse because I’m on a cliff and think I should jump, but I called yesterday” or playing games with how to ask for Klonopin because just the name sends up flags that you must be snorting them and are next going to want xani bars. I’m done. I’m done with community mental health. Sorry I went off there I’m just so frustrated. I hope everything is well with you. :sunny:

i’ve been discharged from seeing the nurse for the last year or so which means a lot less care for me but at least i still see my p/doc who is ok i guess, i haven’t had any major issues for a while except a few blips here and there and i like having that extra freedom and i feel like i have recovered more because of it,

i see my p/doc tomorrow and i’ve just realised its on a bank holiday but i hope its open anyway as i missed the last appointment :frowning: hope it doesn’t happen again or i’m going to sue the hospital for wilful neglect.

:smile: :thumbsup: Very good news. Thank you for that. :purple_heart:

That is fun for me… it only works with that one Aunt because she does get so easily rattled… and after all this time, has yet to learn anything factual about my illness, her own brother’s illness (my Uncle who is also sz).

Other family members either don’t bat an eye, know how to help, or know when I’m putting them on.

@mrhappy I’m sorry you have less support. There will always be a few blips that’s just part of our journey. It’s hard to believe anyone would sign up for this life, but I do believe that we choose our lives and the struggles we face. But we also choose the people who are in our lives. The more difficult your life, the more karma you work off. Good luck at your appointment, I hope they are open.
@SurprisedJ Yeah my family wouldn’t bat an eye. That’s so funny though about that aunt. You would think with her brother having sz she would want to learn about it. Mental illness is hard for some people because you can’t see it. I’m sure it would be a different story with her if you were in a wheelchair. Some people think with mental illness that you just aren’t trying or that you are lazy or looking for attention. When it strikes families people become humble because they see what their loved one is going through. :sunny:

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