Realization I must go clean to recover from sz

Ive stayed away from hard drugs for over 3 years. But ive been using two OTC drugs fairly frequently for about 6 months. The pleasure from using them is completely gone at this point. Last night I used one of them and suddenly it hit me, this drug probably causes brain damage. I look it up and sure enough, over long term use it causes severe memory problems, particularly with short term memory. I never care about damage to the body (liver, kidneys), but damage to the brain is not worth it. Yesterday while so F’ed up I couldnt even roll my own cigarettes due to the muscle spasms caused by the drug, i thought to myself, i can continue wasting my life with drugs and lose everyone eventually, or i can straighten out and atleast try to rejoin society.

Thankfully I made this realization before any permanent damage has taken place. I probably am a bit screwy due to these drugs, but i figure over a few years time of being clean, ill be back to baseline.

Its so strange, because i wasnt using cocaine or heroin, these drugs just didnt feel all that bad. Use them once a month, that became every week, and pretty quickly after that i was using two or three times a week.

Im sick of being a slave to my impulses.

For me, the time has come to take responsibility for my recovery.

Im hoping that by telling you guys this, it will keep me accountable.

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Good luck.

I’ve been not much of a drug user in my life but recently I started drinking pretty regularly. I got so fed up of not feeling well and now I’m on an anti depressant.

May your wishes be fulfilled.

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All hard drugs cause severe issues and exacerbate mental illness so you’re making an excellent decision, best of luck. Even weed is terrible for people with psychosis.

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I can say from someone who has come out the other side that it’s worth the effort to stop it and move on with your life.

I can be done, and when you’re ready you will get there - just be patient.

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Thanks for the encouragement @Joker and good for you for going clean.

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I found it actually harder once I quit everything because I had less escape options. So the real recovery work begins when you quit those type of things

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There was a period of a few years in my life when the first thing I did in the morning was drink five cups of coffee and take forty mini thins. I didn’t feel to bad mentally at the time, but physically it was probably the sickest and weakest I have ever been. They had cut down on my Haldol decoate shot, and all the chemicals I was doing kept me nice and even. I could have gone on like that forever, but I had to quit for my health. It was pretty rough coming off the mini thins.

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