Realization I must go clean to recover from sz

Ive stayed away from hard drugs for over 3 years. But ive been using two OTC drugs fairly frequently for about 6 months. The pleasure from using them is completely gone at this point. Last night I used one of them and suddenly it hit me, this drug probably causes brain damage. I look it up and sure enough, over long term use it causes severe memory problems, particularly with short term memory. I never care about damage to the body (liver, kidneys), but damage to the brain is not worth it. Yesterday while so F’ed up I couldnt even roll my own cigarettes due to the muscle spasms caused by the drug, i thought to myself, i can continue wasting my life with drugs and lose everyone eventually, or i can straighten out and atleast try to rejoin society.

Thankfully I made this realization before any permanent damage has taken place. I probably am a bit screwy due to these drugs, but i figure over a few years time of being clean, ill be back to baseline.

Its so strange, because i wasnt using cocaine or heroin, these drugs just didnt feel all that bad. Use them once a month, that became every week, and pretty quickly after that i was using two or three times a week.

Im sick of being a slave to my impulses.

For me, the time has come to take responsibility for my recovery.

Im hoping that by telling you guys this, it will keep me accountable.


Good luck.

I’ve been not much of a drug user in my life but recently I started drinking pretty regularly. I got so fed up of not feeling well and now I’m on an anti depressant.

May your wishes be fulfilled.

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All hard drugs cause severe issues and exacerbate mental illness so you’re making an excellent decision, best of luck. Even weed is terrible for people with psychosis.


I can say from someone who has come out the other side that it’s worth the effort to stop it and move on with your life.

I can be done, and when you’re ready you will get there - just be patient.

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Thanks for the encouragement @Joker and good for you for going clean.

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I found it actually harder once I quit everything because I had less escape options. So the real recovery work begins when you quit those type of things

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There was a period of a few years in my life when the first thing I did in the morning was drink five cups of coffee and take forty mini thins. I didn’t feel to bad mentally at the time, but physically it was probably the sickest and weakest I have ever been. They had cut down on my Haldol decoate shot, and all the chemicals I was doing kept me nice and even. I could have gone on like that forever, but I had to quit for my health. It was pretty rough coming off the mini thins.

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