Now I just eat lots of sunflower seeds.
Sorry, I’m plagerizing myself. I wrote this somewhere else. But the more I looked at it, the cooler it seemed so I thought I would give it another shot. By the way, I got clean in 1990.
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and you got sick now you cant anymore right? i know the feels
After I got sick, I could never smoke pot again successfully but I smoked a lot of crack and snorted a lot of powder. And I got addicted and I almost lost everything. I don’t know why I could smoke crack without it adding to my symptoms, but on the other hand pot would always trigger me.
Was / is there a bipolar component in your dx? Delighted to hear you’re 25 years’ clean. I hate to think where I’d be if I was still using and boozing.
I’m obviously not saying to break your sobriety…but lately I’ve been taking 1-2 hits of weed here and there and it hasnt made my symptoms worse. If i take 3 I’m a paranoid mess, but 1-2 hits does no harm to me really. I’m happy about it truth be told. Not advocating it to the board but, my friend offers me a blunt. I get 1 turn and then I say I’m done. As long as I don’t buy it I think I’ll be fine taking 1-2 hits. It’s a slippery slope though I think but my life has been great since I started so not ready to give it up yet. Peace :\
And I drink 2x a week.
Really acid/shrooms was my downfall
As long as I stay away from that, and well, buying pot. I think I’ll be fine.
cant believe that you can smoke that garbage without a problem but smoke pot and symptom relapse, weird
And your problem wass? Loljk good to hear
Well, you know better than anyone else if you can handle smoking pot. I know that in my last few years of partying that I smoked pot knowing it would screw me up. I knew it would make me psychotic and paranoid but I picked it up again and again. I thought it was fun but I was fooling myself. I just thought I could handle it but I was fooling myself badly. I wish people would learn from my mistakes and save themselves a lot of misery and grief. You have to ask yourself: does pot really help you? Or do you smoke it out of habit or because the people around you do? Some things to think about.
Do you miss any of it.
Why dont you drink a beer every now and then.Would it trigger alcoholism in you.?
I used to do the same. I also drank NOXPLODE like water
I have some good memories of things I did while using drugs. Quite a few good memories actually. And an equal amount of bad memories. I didn’t drugs and alcohol because the high was no good anymore. The actual feeling of being high on crack or drunk felt good until the end.
It was the collateral damage of using drugs and the whole lifestyle of being a drug user and the drug culture that I had to get away from. I had to get away from the people I did drugs with and I had to stay away from the places I got my drugs and used my drugs. I don’t miss having my car stolen 4 times and having to go to the police station four separate times to recover it. I don’t miss being physically beaten, cheated, conned, lied to constantly. I don’t miss starving because I spent all my food money on drugs. I don’t miss sitting in cars for hours on end in 100 degree heat just in the hope of scoring one hit of crack.
I lot of people on here know the insanity of what doing drugs is like. I liked the feeling of drugs but I don’t miss them at all. And I’m glad I don’t miss them. I have no desire or curiousity to drink or do drugs again. For three years I had the obsession and compulsion to use that was so strong that it dominated my life. But the obsession and compulsion was lifted from me one night after I had been going steadily to AA meetings for a few months straight and has never come back.
They taught me a lot in AA. And it works and I trust them. They told me that I have no gurantee that I won’t use again. But by doing a few basic things that they suggest I have a daily reprieve from using. They also stress again and again that I am not cured of addiction. My disease is cunning, baffling, and dangerous and is lurking here still if I make a mistake. They told me that even ONE hit or ONE drink will trigger my addiction.
And If I start using again I might not have another recovery in me and drugs might kill me. I don’t doubt that for a second. They are not saying that for the fun of it, they talk from experience. And 99 % of the many things they have taught me about addiction and alcoholism have been true.
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I don’t miss braking my families heart… waking up so hung over I can’t hold down food… finding I hawked or pawned stuff that I miss now… having people dismiss me so easily because to them I’m just spouting drunk…
I lost a lot of good people in my life because I used to be such an ass when I was drunk and stoned. I used to think XTC was the only way I could reconnect with people.
I put my sister in a lot of danger when she was younger. I don’t miss the extra aggravation that drugs brought into my life.
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Congratulations on your recovery. Yeah, we did our families a huge favor by getting clean. It’s been 6 years for you? Or three?
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6 clean and sober… 3 years on good meds and fairly independent… finally.
Congratulations again!
I dont think I could recover from that.
When crack became an problem people said it was one of the most addictive things they did.
[quote=“77nick77, post:12, topic:26527”]
The actual feeling of being high on crack or drunk felt good until the end.
[/quote]That is what I miss from alcohol
Do you think any of this was self medicating or did you have schizophrenic symptoms at the time?
I had been schizophrenic for 6 years before I picked up crack. I did crack because I was curious about it and I liked the feeling it gave me. It made me feel in control. But that was an illusion.
Were you with a psychiatrist and on medication at the time?
Yes, I was seeing a psychiatrist and I was on medication. Once I smoked crack in the bathroom of the building my psychiatrist was in and then I went in for my session. He could tell I was high and he told me not to do that again. I hope I’m not encouraging you to do drugs. Crack wrecked my life in many ways, I barely survived the active addiction. I almost lost everything because of it. Some people can take one hit and they die. It can cause heart attacks.