Is it more likely that a man whose car it was I got into with the offer of smoking a big lump of hash ithen offered me a “this one is just for you” joint in the morning after sitting in the car all night
that last is a very recently discovered memory or that I was left alone on the pavement in the middle of the pavement (not even In a doorway) cant have been there for 10 hours with no one wake me up until after midnight?
There wasn t a mark on me and there was no bruising there Were also no fluids
I was having an acute schizophrenic episode.
do I feel scared by this ? Or angry?
I always felt that he was the one keeping me safe
I don’t understand that I don’t have feelings
Of huge anger
Oh yeah he also said, he drives long distances 300 miles to pick up a girl and then he drives home after the weekend.
So I think I’ve got no doubt now
Should I be more outraged?
Isn’t this how the world works?
I’m sorry. My rape was confusing too. I got really really drunk from only one beer, then a super nice guy gave me a ride home, then he followed me inside which was weird, and the next thing I remembered was waking up on the floor with my pants around my ankles. I wasn’t bruised or anything either. It took a long time to finally admit to myself what happened.
After going to some support groups, I think it is better that I don’t remember.
I think in animal world it is not a big issue, if it’s already not an animal planet if that is the only reason why we have sz. Anyway rape is completely wrong. The punishment should be death penalty.
I get soo many intrusive thoughts about my race, my original mother, my girl friend or my past life’s wife being raped, sometimes I think I’m a female converted to male because of hell
That’s a delusion. I have a similar one. My least proud delusion was that I was hitler in a past life and reincarnated as a Jew. Although part of it I thought it was to learn how to treat people better so it wasn’t all that shameful.
In the movie little Nicky…hitler was stuck in hell for eternity with daily doses of having a pineapple stuck up his ass… So I’d say God would be pretty unjust if hitlers punishment was some years of psychosis and then a full recovery turned into a good life
But ATT of this delusion I thought it would never get better. but fortunately it has
I like to believe that in the end, bad people have their eyes opened to the full extent of horrors they committed, and what it was like for the people they hurt. Then they regret every bad thing they ever did. It helps me to believe they will be truly sorry one day.
I just remember being in the car with my mom admist a panic attack, saying “I don’t know what I did to deserve this! But I did something! Maybe not in this life but…” Then my jaw dropped and I thought “I’m hitler , not Jesus”. Then I thought back to an event of my grandfather with my father when my grandfather was suffering from dementia. My grandfather looked at me, then looked at my dad and said “I love you” to my dad. I thought he saw my suffering and told my dad he loved him because my dad purposely raised me wrong to suffer. Then I started meds two months later and everything slowly got better
My first cousin on my dads side was a chronic paranoid sz and she believed her mom was hitlers wife/girlfriend and became violent with her often. My parents told me that when I was 11. So she had a hitler related delusion too. My grandfather fought in World War Two btw if that’s relevant to this all. Life is weird.
What’s up @chew. I’m Jewish too, and had the same delusion. I thought that all the male members of my family were reincarnated nazis that killed themselves in a certain way to ensure that they would come back as Jews overseas in the US. It didn’t help that my grandfather was a WW2 vet and my family is Austrian. That’s pretty crazy that you had that one too. I remember it being one of the scarier delusions that I’ve had.
