Rant 151515

For those of you who don’t know, I’m a 61 year old gay man. I had two romantic relationships back in the 1980’s when I was in my 20’s. The first was for two years, the second for ten. In his case he came down with HIV in 1987 and lived another ten years.

Two relationships is enough for me, and I’m not looking for just sex. I had plenty when I was a young man, thank you.

It would be nice to have a conversation with someone without getting beat up for being gay, or thinking I’m trying to come on to them or flirt. Last weekend I tried to help a 33 year old come out to his parents. It’s doing AA service work where you try to give back for the help you received.

Anyway, I’m through.


Good for you for helping the 33 year old man come out to his parents.


Aren’t you in Arkansas?

I’ve been through there plenty. Little Rock seemed like quite a tough town.

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Yes I’m in Little Rock Arkansas. Little Rock is somewhat liberal. They have a Gay Rights ordinance. The state itself is conservative though.

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I know what you mean about having a conversation without the other person thinking you’re trying to pick them up.

I’m not gay but my dad was and I know a little on the subject.

But I have had a gay man try to pick me up before. He was drunk tho; yet still old enough to know better.

I just checked Google. Sexual orientation and gender identity are protected in employment only.

My only friend is gay too.

I was friends with a straight veteran I met through volunteer work with AA. He moved to Fayetteville though.

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I’ve been thru there too. I used to haul for jb hunt and they’re based out of that area.

It’s actually a really nice area, at least from what I saw.

Isn’t it right next to Branson?

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It’s in the Northwest corner of the state. Branson is more towards the middle. My mom went to University of Arkansas in Fayetteville when I was a kid. I went and stayed with her there for a week.

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My dad came down with schizophrena, and they were divorced. My mom had to get a job and work. This was back in the 1960’s.

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I just got out my atlas.

Joplin is due north of Fayetteville, while Springfield, MO is due north of Branson.

NW Arkansas was the area I liked.

It’s very scenic?

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Yes. It’s in the Ozark Mountains.

I remember you saying you’re mom raised you by herself.

My deal was nobody wanted to be my Dad. My biological father had no interest in parenting me. And my stepdad also had no Interest in being my dad

I think there was a lot of confusion about ‘who’ was doing ‘what’ with regard to raising me. As it turns out that job went unfulfilled and I ended up in the drug scene in high school and eventually dropping out.

Then my biological fathers death was the onset of my sz @ 23 years old.

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It’s funny this stuff comes up online without a bat of the eye.

But I’d never tell this stuff to someone in person.

I can’t wait for COVID to be over so I can find a therapist who is accepting new patients.

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I never knew my father as a kid. He was gone before I could remember. Mother was divorced on grounds of abandonment in 1964 when I was 5. He was diagnosed with Sz when he was in the Army.

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He went Awol and disappeared.

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I was raised in my grandparents house. Mother got a steady bf when I was 12, and he did some things with me. He used to take me to dirt track auto racing every Saturday. My grandfather occasionally took me to baseball games.

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This happened to me too. He killed himself when I was 2/3 years old.

My step dad is basically my dad - he has been there for me ever since. We used to fight a lot, but we have a much better relationship now I don’t live in his house.

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I’m sure that was helpful.

I have a step brother who is a couple years older and he wouldn’t let my stepdad do things like that with me. Fault of the parent of course. You shouldn’t let a 13 year old run the show.

Ah yes, Repressed memories.

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