Schizophrenia.com

Psychotic Depression

Yesterday was a bad day for me - I rapid cycle very fast - a mood switch and episode within hours (Ultradian Cycling)
I was very depressed, cycling downward (free falling) towards a deep depression. While in a depressed state, I entered the house from the backdoor, I looked at my dogs enclosure in the room, I saw my dog and was going to pet him - I looked again and my dog was not there, I just remembered that he was in my room sleeping away!
Also in the late afternoon I was lying down on the couch, my elderly mother was sitting on the recliner chair and she wanted to get up and go to the kitchen, so I saw my father helping her up out of the chair - I saw a dark shadow like figure, looked like an older woman a bit helping my father get my mother out of the chair - this freaked me out!
I guess I am seeing things, visuals when I am depressed it seems. They call this psychotic depression - hearing, seeing things that are not there when depressed. I see my pdoc very soon - I really guess I should mention this to her- communicating things clearly to her is important, so hopefully she can guide me with which medications to take

Yes definitely. I find writing things down helps so I don’t forget to tell them EVERYTHING. I am also sorry you are feeling like this and hope that you feel better soon :frowning:

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Thanks @ish for those kind words :smiley:

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I’m sorry you’re having a hard time. I would definitely bring it up with your pdoc. There’s also bipolar with psychotic features and if you have psychosis when there are no mood symptoms that’s schizoaffective. But on a positive note you realized it wasn’t real. There have only been a handful of times I saw things in the 3D world, usually it’s in my head. Like ish said write everything down. I do this or otherwise in the session I would be like “everything’s fine.” :sunny:

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Hi @SunGirl Yes you and @Ish make a good point about writing everything down. I do have a journal and write down all of my symptoms - how the meds are working, my moods etc… on a daily basis . I will be typing some notes on how I am doing and bringing it to my session when seeing my doctor. I do not have a lot of time with her so I plan on going prepared this time - I have a lot of questions and want to be able to tell her everything.
I am pretty sure I am capable of seeing or hearing things when not in a mood state as well - schizoaffective, but I admit it is confusing for me - maybe she has answers. Thank you for the support and wise advice as usual :smiley:

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Hi Wave~~
i hope you can take as much time as you need
with your pdoc! I know you are on new meds ( I think?).
just wondering if that could be it?

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Hi @bridgecomet Yes I am on a new med - Lamictal and it might be making the mood cycling worse, I will be bringing this up to her - thanks :smile:

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sorry you are hurting.
take care

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Thanks @darksith :smiley:

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I am praying you feel better i can’t imagine.

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Thank you, very kind of you @laurasvineyard :smiley:

Sorry, wave, your suffering from severe psychosis like this. That’s unbearable. I admire your strength of going through this…

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I hope your meds get squared away with your pdoc to give you some relief from your depression, Wave.

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Thank you @green5 and @joanne - well it seems that I can get psychotic when I am very depressed - but thankfully, because I cycle so quickly, I am not always in a deep depression. I will be talking with my pdoc about it regardless, I do hope it goes well. I can hallucinate when I am not mood cycling also - thus the schizoaffective diagnosis

so sorry ur having a hard time hunni. hope it gets sorted soon xxx

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Sorry Wave that you are struggling. It must be hard however you seem to be handling things very well and not giving up. I hope it gets better for you soon.

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Thanks @jaynebeal and thank you @BarbieBF - It seems that I am not cycling all day long, but when i do from time to time it goes pretty low and deep - lets see what happens during my doctors appointment

I had something like 6 months of psychotic depression once, it was hell. It was easily the worst psychosis I’ve had - the psychotic symptoms may not have been the worst they’ve ever been but with the severe depression alongside it was a worse experience than any other psychosis I’ve had. I hope you’re feeling better, it’s good at least that it doesn’t seem to last for so long each time for you, although I’m sure rapid cycling comes with it’s own problems.

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@Wave - I’m glad your writing this down and getting ready to talk to your doc. Good for you for being able to sort of center and realize what is hitting you. NO easy task when your in the middle of it.

I really hope they get some answers for you soon. Are you still in the middle of a med change up?

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Thank you @zenmind - Thanks J - I am not sure what will come out of this session with my doctor - I have a lot to talk about this time around and I am going in prepared

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