Psychotic Depression?

DX'd - Other
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What my therapist seems to think I have now. Schizophreniform disorder (illness where strong schizophrenia-like symptoms persist for a month or so, a transitory diagnosis while doctors wait to see if the symptoms persist past six months) was my initial diagnosis which is why I’m on this site. I dunno, I still wonder if I have something more serious that my doctors aren’t picking up on. I suppose I need to trust them more. My psychosis and resultant delusions were heavily guilt-themed which is why they’re now thought to have originated from deep depression. I thought the world was ending because of me during my psychotic episode and I thought I was the cause of everyone’s problems when I was delusional. I’m over both those issues now but I worry they’ll reappear at some point. My therapist said to watch out for another bout of severe depression which could trigger another episode but I didn’t even know I was depressed to begin with so… :stuck_out_tongue:

Thinking about it, I do feel quite down. I feel guilty. I feel unmotivated. I’m constantly thinking I’m schizophrenic or schizoaffective because of this or that symptom. Anyone with confirmed sz ever go through anything like what I did? Anyone pick up a diagnosis of psychotic depression along the way?

I’ll take this diagnosis if it really describes what I have. I’m just so confused. I’ll feel bad about being on this site if I really don’t have something on the sz spectrum, a darn shame because I really like you guys. :confused: But I like the thought of this being a space for people dealing with serious psychotic issues which I… do not have atm. I don’t want to encroach.

Thanks for reading!

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Hey, lots of our members, including a mod, have psychotic depression. You don’t have to feel guilty for being here. You definitely fit in. Don’t listen to your depression. It will try to isolate you from all of your supports. Stick around!

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Thanks. :slight_smile: I’ll stay. This place helps me a lot, I’m so grateful for it. I won’t let my depression push me away.

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If u are psychotic u fit in… @Anna was initially diagnosed with psychotic depression… am i right @Anna… take care anti…!!! Sup what are u upto…? Have u just had ur breakfast…!!!

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Psychotic depression has better outcome than sza or sz. I scored higher for it on a test than sza but clinically I was diagnosed with sza.

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Hey there. :slight_smile: Oh that’s good to know, I hope she’s doing okay!
I’m all right! I had a grilled chicken pasta thing for breakfast. Yeah, kinda weird. :stuck_out_tongue:
How are you doing? :slight_smile:

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Hey anti i just ate my dinner…!!! Lentils was salt less…i cooked it myself …!!! Have u tried working part time anti… i feel like u can do it…??

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Ohh interesting.
Do you feel content with your sza diagnosis?
Sza is what they wanted to pin on me at the hospital. They were too early with that one though. You have to have the symptoms for six months, or that’s what my therapist told me.

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I heard those with psychotic depression recover when not depressed. Is that the case for you? For me, I think SZA is more accurate.

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Sounds good, congrats on making them yourself!

I really want to work again. Gotta wait for the decision on my disability claim, though. That will probably take a few more months. :frowning:
Thank you for the vote of encouragement!

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when does psychotic depression go away?

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I do feel pretty much recovered. I have severe anxiety, though. Something I’ve really gotta work on before I get back out into the world.

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I’ve been told it’s episodic. It can come and go. I think most episodes can last up to a few months. I’ll have to read more about it because I’m really not 100% sure.

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In Affective Disorders the development of delusions or hallucinations follows a period of affective disturbance. For this reason the diagnosis of Schizophrenia is not made unless an affective syndrome, if present, developed after any psychotic symptoms or was brief in duration relative to the duration of the characteristic psychotic symptoms.

DSM-III, Differential diagnosis schizophrenia-affective disorders.

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Hey! Psychotic depression is my diagnosis. My most recent psychosis was pretty much all delusional guilt - I believed, even though I knew better, that I had killed my cat. My cat died of kidney failure, but I believed that I had poisoned him, that I had run him over, that I had driven my car with him hiding in the engine, that I had let him out and he had been savaged by a coyote - all demonstrably false, and I knew that, but any possible way that a cat could die an untimely death, I believed I had caused or allowed to come about through neglect.

Past delusions have included that I cause pain, suffering, and doom to everyone I love, and that I was under surveillance by the government and my landlord and that I was going to be denied reentry to the country.

You do sound depressed, in the same way that I had been. I would have told you that I wasn’t depressed - I wasn’t crying, I wasn’t hurting myself, I wasn’t actively suicidal. I just thought that I was worthless, that it was unlikely that I could accomplish anything worthwhile, that I was doomed to failure, that I was a bad person, that no one did like me and no one in the future would, and that it would be a relief to everyone around me if I were dead. I didn’t consider myself particularly distressed by any of this - I just thought I had a very clear, realistic view of myself. It’s just how it was, and I recognized it.

When I am not actively depressed, I am really not delusional at all, and my hallucinations are minimal. I have a few comforting ideas that I entertain from time to time - I can speak to animals and plants, I can heal people psychically, I have some prognostication powers, all this is because of a special heritage I have - but these ideas are not compelling and don’t meaningfully impact my life in any way, other than to provide joke fodder with myself and my partner. My pdoc believes that as long as I keep the depression strictly monitored and under control, I am not at risk for a psychotic break.

There are several people here who have this diagnosis or who are being considered for it. You’re welcome here - you can help this place, and this place can help you.

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That delusion about having killed your cat sounds awful. I’m so sorry you went through that. :frowning:

I think a warning sign I was depressed was terrible rage that would bubble up and cause me to lash out.
I feel absolutely terrible about some of the things I’ve said to people. I’m working to be a better person now. One good thing to come out of all this.

Thanks for sharing your experience with this illness. :slight_smile: I hope you can get to a place of peace.

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I was initially diagnosed as having Psychotic Depression before I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia

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Hello there! I hope you’re doing okay.
Psychosis in general sucks.

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Hello @antidepressant044, lovely to hear from you. To be honest, I am very well. Initial stages were difficult as with the second diagnosis… but now I am perfectly fine. :blush:

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I did not realize that delusional guilt was a thing, but that was definitely a big part of what I used to experience. My diagnosis started as psychotic depression when I was 18, still apparently had some delusions even though I didn’t know it (like the guilt you described. It’s seriously shaking my world that that’s a thing. It was such a big debilitating party of my life even when I thought I was totally fine). Anyways, it eventually turned into schizophrenia when I was 24.

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