Psychopathic/antisocial tendencies

So I often wake up in the early morning from nightmares and feel agitated and delusional, then I write hateful journal entries for “them” to read. I am not even sure who “they” are. I sometimes think that the university spies on me and tapped my phone and computer, for research purposes, which doesn’t sit well with me.

I have strong psychopathic tendencies, it’s something that I learned about when I was diagnosed upon an evaluation. It helps me fight through the hardest of times yet I often look back at what I wrote and just don’t agree with it. My family and friends know about it, they know that when I feel threatened, I become vicious. Again, it helps me function because when I think that there really are conspiracies, I just go “bring it on, ■■■■ with me.” I proceed to actually function uncannily highly.

I am not a psychopath, I have subclinical scores for it on the Hare checklist, but strong tendencies. Upon my evaluation and diagnosis when I was 19, I scored significantly for psychopathic deviance on the MMPI-2. That is confounded by being legally insane while answering those 550 questions. The Hare checklist was taken while sane and on meds for over a year. My 16PF is a little ugly, I don’t know how to interpret it, but I showed the results to my shrink and he seemed a little interested, he told me that he could interpret psychopathology from it and he obviously did. I’ve told him that I have the tendencies and he agrees, yet makes it clear that they are tendencies and subclinical.

It is formally known as antisocial personality, yet I am quite social- I am aware of my impulses and thoughts and do not let them control me.

Does anyone else here have antisocial/psychopathic tendencies? I could use some input about how you deal with it.

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Yes…not something I’m proud of…when I was very young it was more pronounced…it was a good thing I had a healthy dislike of discipline because I’m concerned animals could have ended up dead. My friend in kindergarten had kittens, and I remember feeling the urge to kill them, as well as other small animals I came in contact with. I didn’t know why, it was a dark feeling I didn’t really understand. Something about their weakness just made me want to do it. I used to have dreams where I just killed things and was happy…I was not a mentally-well child and my mom has told me she had a lot of concerns about me when I was young and just never did anything about it.

I only get violent urges now when I’m feeling my rage, and it’s less of a true desire to hurt others so much as a need to release energy. I’ve never acted on them. I can be self-centered (I used to be hugely narcissistic before my depression set in-depression changes you…in my case for the better) I don’t form attachments to people easily and don’t really miss others when they’re gone.

I’ve never been officially diagnosed because I’m too self-conscious to bring any of that up. That’s when you get into the really ugly side of me.

You seem alright to me. Powerful yet harmless. I’d just try to relax and focus on finding peace and being peaceful.

It’s a very competitive world but the people who enjoy it most know it’s all about how you relax. Winning feels good but that only lasts for a while.

From everything you’ve said on here. I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine. Everyone has a darkness inside.

With time it’ll go away if you want it to.

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It is written that men diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder tend to display Antisocial traits - what ever this means

Who Has Schizoaffective Disorder?

Schizoaffective disorder is a relatively uncommon mental illness but there are some commonalities.

Schizoaffective disorder tends to occur in women more often than men, but this may be due to more women being diagnosed with the depressive subtype rather than the bipolar subtype.

Men who have schizoaffective disorder tend to show antisocial traits and behaviors.

The age of onset is later for women than men.

Children rarely have schizoaffective disorder.

Younger people who are diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder often have schizoaffective disorder with bipolar disorder subtype.

Older people who are diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder tend to exhibit the depressive subtype.

you are a good guy. :smile:
everyone, the menatlly ill and ’ muggles ’ have a darkness inside them.
ceo’s of big business have narcissistic…psychopathic…tendencies…that is how they rise to the top…by trampling on the weak !?!
but you have a good heart and a HUGE brain… :heartbeat:
you know the difference between good and bad…
bad deteriorates the soul.
good uplifts it. :sunrise_over_mountains:
take care :alien:

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Well, I have relationship of 22 years. She gave me a wedding ring that I wear. But sometimes I cannot find any feelings for her inside of me.

Hey, the good doctor said , “No, Jayster, you’re not antisocial. You don’t want to destroy other people’s happy socializing. Rather you’re social avoidant. You find yourself uncomfortable around people too much.”

Jayster