So I often wake up in the early morning from nightmares and feel agitated and delusional, then I write hateful journal entries for “them” to read. I am not even sure who “they” are. I sometimes think that the university spies on me and tapped my phone and computer, for research purposes, which doesn’t sit well with me.
I have strong psychopathic tendencies, it’s something that I learned about when I was diagnosed upon an evaluation. It helps me fight through the hardest of times yet I often look back at what I wrote and just don’t agree with it. My family and friends know about it, they know that when I feel threatened, I become vicious. Again, it helps me function because when I think that there really are conspiracies, I just go “bring it on, ■■■■ with me.” I proceed to actually function uncannily highly.
I am not a psychopath, I have subclinical scores for it on the Hare checklist, but strong tendencies. Upon my evaluation and diagnosis when I was 19, I scored significantly for psychopathic deviance on the MMPI-2. That is confounded by being legally insane while answering those 550 questions. The Hare checklist was taken while sane and on meds for over a year. My 16PF is a little ugly, I don’t know how to interpret it, but I showed the results to my shrink and he seemed a little interested, he told me that he could interpret psychopathology from it and he obviously did. I’ve told him that I have the tendencies and he agrees, yet makes it clear that they are tendencies and subclinical.
It is formally known as antisocial personality, yet I am quite social- I am aware of my impulses and thoughts and do not let them control me.
Does anyone else here have antisocial/psychopathic tendencies? I could use some input about how you deal with it.
Yes…not something I’m proud of…when I was very young it was more pronounced…it was a good thing I had a healthy dislike of discipline because I’m concerned animals could have ended up dead. My friend in kindergarten had kittens, and I remember feeling the urge to kill them, as well as other small animals I came in contact with. I didn’t know why, it was a dark feeling I didn’t really understand. Something about their weakness just made me want to do it. I used to have dreams where I just killed things and was happy…I was not a mentally-well child and my mom has told me she had a lot of concerns about me when I was young and just never did anything about it.
I only get violent urges now when I’m feeling my rage, and it’s less of a true desire to hurt others so much as a need to release energy. I’ve never acted on them. I can be self-centered (I used to be hugely narcissistic before my depression set in-depression changes you…in my case for the better) I don’t form attachments to people easily and don’t really miss others when they’re gone.
I’ve never been officially diagnosed because I’m too self-conscious to bring any of that up. That’s when you get into the really ugly side of me.
you are a good guy.
everyone, the menatlly ill and ’ muggles ’ have a darkness inside them.
ceo’s of big business have narcissistic…psychopathic…tendencies…that is how they rise to the top…by trampling on the weak !?!
but you have a good heart and a HUGE brain…
you know the difference between good and bad…
bad deteriorates the soul.
good uplifts it.
Well, I have relationship of 22 years. She gave me a wedding ring that I wear. But sometimes I cannot find any feelings for her inside of me.
Hey, the good doctor said , “No, Jayster, you’re not antisocial. You don’t want to destroy other people’s happy socializing. Rather you’re social avoidant. You find yourself uncomfortable around people too much.”