I was wondering if anyone else is having difficulies finding the right sort of people to be in love with because of your illness
yes I share your pain
I was just up front about it. I don’t really know when I told C, but it was before our first official date. We went to a few parties together and that’s mainly where I talked to him. I don’t think I’ve ever had anyone act weird about me when I told them. I don’t know if you’re a boy or girl but for girls there’s a friendship period when it’s starting to get serious that I call the ‘secret sharing’ time. It’s when you tell each other little things from you personal life that you might not really care for the general public to know. That’s when I tell them. If you get into the dating equivalent of that, that’s probably a good time.
They’ll either bite or they won’t. If they aren’t able to even ask you what it’s like and/or do a little internet research they aren’t the one for you. War isn’t for pansies.
I got to know my fiancé at work before I told him anything. I’ve found its not the kind of thing to open with, but after you’ve made a connection with the person they won’t be put off by it if they really care. I’ve been turned down for dates when I told them I have SZ right away, but I’ve never had relationship problems with someone I told after several dates. Just make sure you spend enough time with them that you feel like they know the real you. Then when you do tell them, they’ll already have a good impression of you in their minds and the news that you have a mental illness won’t affect their opinion of you as much. I’m not saying it’s fail-safe but it’s always worked well for me when I do it that way. One thing I can tell you for a fact: NEVER settle for someone who doesn’t meet your standards just because you think they “would never wanna be with a mentally ill person.” I’ve made that mistake before
I would go out a couple of times and then tell them. It is something that affects your life and could affect theirs if the two of you became serious.
Just tell them when you feel its right. They will only love your for who you are if they are the right person.