If it wasn’t for the illness, I still would be walking
The symptoms and audio hallucinations got me thinking
All of my memories and reminiscence are for instances, all dark with secret
Prison cells and hospitalizations, sleeping in the shadows of people’s pleasures and date spots
In the bushes, in the rain with a folded tent at the park I’m officially homeless.
I could hear the thumping of the rain, I try to be warm while hiding my existence.
I carry my food and my clothes, enough for next few days, in my bag, my life.
Oh why was I crazy with stress and the voices giving me orders
I listen to obey because I’m naive with no insights
My love of my life was only imaginative.
Changing locks so you won’t come in
But why do you hate me so much when you love me?
You betray me with words doing nasty things
Making me small, promised you will love me forever, but you lied
Branded me in my dreams, so I won’t forget what you’ve taken
I’m in pain, told my sorrow that I have let myself down and I am the only one speaking
Took those thorns off my roses, I’ve wrapped them for you
Left just one for the beauty of it, the pride of the flower to prick you right back!
I’ve bought you a car and a necklace to show you I’m real, that I exist
But your nowhere to be found