Poem: homeless

[Gabzgrl]

I have been through

the early days

the ugly ways

I was there with a smile

I had to smile through the tears

as you shattered

everything I knew.

ignored all of my advice

I was not allowed to fear them

play nice with these body parts

where we are safe

where we are ok

we have tried to forget the beatings

of my broken heart.

and the abusive memories

but sometimes it feels like the universe

is tearing me apart

where we feel fine

where we feel secure

outside looks ominous

but beneath the oceans waves

all these visions with infinite potential

so stop seeing all this change as mental

you don’t understand me at all.

I am fierce, I am brave too.

I do not have to behave like they do.

[77nick77]

“Homeless”
There’s other
Places I’d rather be.

[Gabzgrl]

He knows he doesn’t deserve a second chance

but I’m dancing with the demons

in a heavenly cage

full of disdainful madness

my rage is a nuclear bomb

I can’t find the red switch

I’m tired of dreaming of dead men

and serial killers

I’m tired of soy milk and artificial fillers

[Gabzgrl]

I want to die

I held her sad lifeless body

in my arms

and I want to die

because

I did her harm.

I have become the monster

I have always feared

these demons in my twisted mind

must have been engineered

by a black magician

with his evil smile.

He wants to wipe it all away

but I will burn with her

in that dark bottomless pit

that terrible struggle

that she didn’t deserve to feel

because I am selfish

I am not real.

Please make this pain go away

this self-afflicting hate

am I really a schizophrenic psycho ■■■■■

or is this pre-determined fate

I’m so full of hate

but I can’t feel it anymore

I don’t know anger

just the silence behind a locked door

I don’t recall a struggle

rape was just a game

I don’t remember what made me insane

they were just sleeping pills

just sleeping pills

just sleeping pills

pills so they could rape me that night

before I woke up with no memories

pills so they could rape me that night

so I could never remember me

pills so they could rape me.

pills so they could erase me.

pills so they could erase me.

Just like that dead body

just like that dead body.