I don’t expect you to read or understand this all either
But thought I’d share a little.
You’re in the cubicle tired
God damn what a beautiful desire
To maybe save the world
A little bit
Maybe spread the word
And give a bit
Other people are paranoid too.
I used to get abused by the bullies at school. They’d pull me by the hair and Beat me up till I drool. Blood. It mixes in with the mud. One time I got an infection so I made the confession to my mother. About the abuse to her daughters brother. Well another week went by. Another reason why. I’d be better off in the woods getting high with the stoner guys. No one messes with these peaceful people.
Unless they’re crazier than the last man to claim he thinks deeper. Then Jesus Christ. Don’t worry I’m not so nice on the mic. For you to even concern my claim.
A Mix. Of the twist. Of the sick. With. The sane. I spit out the pain. To these manes. Cuz suffering ain’t nothing. Pain is inevitable. Yeah till I’m gone off the edible.
I’m unstable. I left my house this morning I forgot to take my meds. The rain is pouring this day might leave me dead.
Lost in this diagnosis
this ■■■■■■■ label.
Call me schizophrenic well you’ve heard the fables
The tales straight from the jails
For the mentally insane
The terror it wasn’t any error
But take a gander at who’ve they’ve blamed
For this mark attached to my name
Now I’m for life considered this way
Now I fight in spite of that bad ■■■■■■■ day
I had a mad ■■■■■■ brain.
Insane in the membrane
They told me oh lord please don’t let him consume cocaine
The fumes of the Mary Jane
Is enough for a mayne
with such a history
A misery without any unity
My family is crazy
Thinking I were a deity but at the same time
Thinking I was nothing
But one day I can maybe become something
I’ve had it
I’ve made certain things patterns my habits
They’ve poisoned me like castor beans.
I’ve tried it all from a pastor, to a rapper, to a coach for a team
A blue collar worker
Two times I heard ya
How you have the nerve to
Say it again
Like I didn’t hear you back then.
Still you’re incorrect
Still I connect
To these thoughts and
I’m not lost
In this cold…in this frost.
That was the morning to my life.
What you just expect me to die?
I’m more than your typical terrible neuro-abnormal alright?
It’s typical. It’s terrible. How they order you to think this hysteria.
When I say you’re wrong
■■■■ you I’m jon
A shrink quits
On account of no changing this.
Plus his patients drive him mad.
That was a misconception they just made him sad.
Lying to me I got another
Coping mechanism I discover.
Smoking cessation I reckon helped my mother.
And my brother
But what about the other
Sibling who just seems to hover.
In this life so she might be on this brutal path.
A bubble bath,
In The Foam of terror.
There must be an error.
Because That’s a heck of a way to go out.
My big bro relapses, what now.
Will it ever end.
Will you ever send
Angels from heaven
Because it seems this is the blessings of the devil
When you can’t think straight
They tell me have faith
But it seems like god enslaved us.
If Tupac was a rose that grew from the concrete then I am the weed that grew in the garden. Pardon. Hillside carrots. Nothing but lethal pills can spare us. This beauty. A duty. To refute the. Delirium. Hysteria.
Youthful looks, truthful books.
Sitting by my bedside.
Won’t read them but I know why.
I bought them.
They must have fallen.
When my cat knocks them off.
The draw of the socks.
The law of the lost,
Is don’t cry for help.
Scrutiny and stigmatism
Soo, mutiny against those bigger figures.
I don’t care about politics.
I just know we’re so lost.
So how could we say.
Conservatism is right. When not even liberalism is enough to change us.
At least enough as we should be…
A total paradigm shift in morality.
When you change your mind…
On some subjects…
that, it ain’t about politics if we can’t even tie our shoes properly
I need the content
The control for I’m on a roll
Take a stroll
By the path near the flagpole
Do the math
I’m on a rhythm a roll. It’s given this way that I’m living im told. That I’m psycho. Hold on. I just wasn’t right yo in the head no. Leave em dead so. I murder these instruments
No curving this shrinks way he dismisses. My dismay. For this day. For I find the way. On my own.
I turn the tides. Burn cyanide. Yearn for higher times. Without this poison this crack I have a higher mind. Invite the boys in I’m back. From this brilliant idea. This millionth time that I hear. I need to get better. Well I improve. Forever. Now never. However. I’m not so clever. So fast. Just glad that I’m bad to the bone. What’s going on in the world today
I’m going gone make the earth shake
Like an earthquake.
For lords sake.
I’m here for the take
I’m near to the lake
Just follow the river
Don’t need to borrow cuz I deliver
So much strangeness. In the air. This ■■■■ is weird. I just don’t care. Nothing surprises me. Yet.
In a pattern of failure and timidness I felt dead and broken much of my youth. During my very early days I was fine, I guess. But as time commenced I seemingly lost my mind. It wasn’t because of drugs, but later people may have thought so. Some trauma came. My first grade report card cited me as a “real sensitive little boy”. So maybe trauma was a little worse for me than for others. At least stuff of the same degree. I was launched into the world headfirst by the grips of metal forceps. Previously in the spirit world, everything was alright. When I was told this life was to be a tough test, I didn’t think it would be right away, when I first exited the womb. Born sliced up and bloodied, I cried when I got handed to my Mother. Much love was there from the start both from me and from her. The feelings were mutual.