Perspective (don't read if you are easily triggered)

Unusual Beliefs
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I’ll start off by saying I believe I have a pretty good grip on myself and my mind. I’m a deep person, a deep thinker and feeler. I have a genuine love for everyone and like to help anyone I can.

Lately I’ve made alot of realizations about the structure of the life we live in. I don’t like the sense of us all being connected. It is essentially true but my mind wants to visualize this connection this making me feel boxed in and suppressed.

Me being overly empathetic came from me trying to grasp what was really going on in life. This is like trying to collect water with your hands and led me to become delusional at times.

Pretty much we are bound by others energy. Some of us do this looking for comfort or protection while others fall victim to it. Most people do not see their own mistakes and faults un this sense. They want to put the blame of their emotions and feelings and unbalances on other people. While alot of our problems are essentially other people’s we have to choose how to react and control ourselves and run from the negativity of others ehen we can’t help.

I’ve been dealing with what seems like problems and other things being brought to me and hung over me like they are mine (they arent). It is nearly impossible to clear some things up when you have no insight in where it is coming from and the reason behind it. I feel like a scape goat in the sense of I’m bring blamed for other people’s problems and discomforts.

I’ll be mind my own business being nice and cozy with myself and I can feel someone drop some ■■■■ into my field. Or I’ll have someone grab some of my energy judt for them to chew on. And others want to take my calm vibes and use them like a blanket but oh if I gotta make some noise or movements they are bitc hing about it acting like I’m just supposed to only cater to them being protected and secure.

All this ■■■■ leaves me feeling drained and exposed because I’m getting stretched, twisted, used, abused, ridiculed, falsely accused, misunderstood, hated, conspired against, made out to be worthless, and at times.

This is a distance thing closeness has no correlation. But I just refuse to sink down to their level of pettiness and nastiness. Just because I can see he’ll doesn’t mean I belong there.

Pretty much I’ve allowed myself to become fearful and a slave because of being stsrved of my own energy and having my mind raped by people that are truly horrible people. They make real good people dislike me because they twist ■■■■ make false connections make nothing into something huge. I can hold my own I just refuse to keep pouring my good ■■■■ out to people to keep them from doing all this ■■■■■■ up ■■■■.

I’m a tightly skillfully wound ball of yarn and they grab a peice and run off with it tangling it around anything they possibly can then act like I’m the one doing it. There is wedges that does not allow me to close properly. My hands are tired behind my back and cant even push the ■■■■■■■■ off alot of the time. I’m made out to be crazy and out of control when I’ll be as chill as an ice cube in a peaceful state.

But yeah y’all can tell me I’m ill, delusional, I need meds or whatever. I’m not new to this life. I’m tired of having my shield and sword taken from me then made out to be a coward. I don’t go looking for a fight on any level but I damn sure know how to defend myself physically so why am i bound in this type of defense.

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How can you starve someone of themself then torture them when they they fight for themself?

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I know you are only venting but that is a beautiful piece of writing.

Yes, people drain each other’s energy. I find that being in solitude recharges mine. But wanting to help others is a curse when you keep being drained from it.
Which do you value more- your energy or theirs?
Sometimes you have to be selfish.

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Yeah, well, welcome to life. If there are above average there are going to be below average and we have to find a way to co-exist with them. Do some volunteer work, that’s where you find the nicer, above average folks hanging out.

Well if you’re not and you don’t, why are you here?

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Meds help with somethings. And I feel ill at times even though I hate the diagnosis

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I’m not sure if you’re talking metaphorically or not, but if you’re not, I can assure you that people are not telepathically stealing your energy or anything. Other people around the world are just normal people mostly minding their own business and have no interest in telepathically making your life worse. And they can’t, either.

Being ill and needing medication doesn’t make you a coward. You just have more to deal with than others. Realizing you are ill and need medication is a brave thing to do.

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Yeah I’ve seen and experienced too much to believe that we can’t influence others emrions and energy. The wool can’t be pulled back over my eyes. I’m not savage or animalistic. I greatly enjoy sophistication and the presence of easy going people that have self control. I’m not saying it’s telepathic, but we are all connected by frequency and energy. An environment eould not have an atmosphere without this being true. Some places are heavy some are light some are deep this is the result of people comi g together and creating thst atmosphere.

I’m an artist in this sense and someone at times have stolen my paintbrushes and graffittied my space.

Not everyone can be happy in a box. That doesn’t mean they should be chewed up and made out to be something they aren’t just because they want out of that box. There’s a woodchipper or a vacuum over my box most the time.

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My experience is completely different. Most people don’t experience the world in that way. What affects my mood is my physical surroundings and my internal state of mind. I can usually tell why I feel something. I’ve never had anyone steal my energy, like you say. It’s just not the reality I live in. I’m not connected to others that way.

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I never entertained the reality of it. It enforced itself. But I see it in everything. But I feel like I’ve lost something maybe spiritually that has caused this. Like a door is wedged open making me susceptible to this. I definelty like the reality I grew up in and I regret the drug use thst opened this door.

I can’t afford to compare my experiences with someone else’s because I’ve gotten used to the ones ibcan manage and all I can do is integrate normal things with my unnormal things. Most of my beliefs and morals are solid the things I don’t understand are theories

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But I’ve noticed what’s so fragile about delusions is usually they enforce yourselves to the person experiencing them.

Nothing usually shocks me to the core these days. Sometimes I push my self too far and everyrhi g unravels but I can handle most things in the proper mindset.

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It sounds like you are talking about codependency. Which is a real problem. I deal with it myself because my step mom was codependent. I have to learn to let go and ignore other people’s problems and ■■■■■■■■ with themselves, me, and other people.

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It’s simiar bit isn’t my family. It’s hard to explain

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