This is a curious situation. When someone is initially very judge mental of you for shallow reasons. Then they get to know you and they really like you.
On one side I like the fact that I get the stamp of approval on their judgement.
On the other hand I don’t like that they were judge mental in the first place.
Discuss
I think them being judgmental has nothing to do with the person they’re passing judgement on- that’s just how some people are in the beginning. It says a lot and is a good thing when they can put their judgements aside and be nice in the end.
I hear ya on the judgy component being bothersome though. I would then take it further and ask myself if I’m judgemental of judgemental people and that would just be one big loop haha.
Thats just how some people are programmed.
Thanks for that insight. It’s hard not to take things too personally a lot. Especially feeling really unfairly judged.
The two situations I think of is in the psych ward when I was really psychotic one of the psych techs was very abusive/harassing me until he later gained a respect for me. So I had mixed feelings on that one.
And then my friend has a friend whose a girl and we went to her house and she was really mean at first but I just acted myself then she liked me by the end of the stay at her house and she added me on Facebook and stuff. And my friend says she never adds anyone on Facebook lol.
It sounds like the psych tech was probably trying to maintain a professional albeit harsh-sounding stance until he got to know you. That environment can be rough on our mind states, it’s not cool he was abusive at first though.
As for your friend’s friend, some people and some girls usually, can be standoffish in the beginning. It sounds like she’s cool with you now so who knows, could be one of those situations where you didn’t think you made a friend but you actually did 
The psych tech was at an infamously bad hospital before they re did it…in a city seemingly foreign to me.
He made fun of me for physical appearance mostly. Very insulting stuff too. He ended up liking me because I had good things to say on inequality in the world and money matters when we watched the movie “Happy”.
But yeah with the girl I kinda had something against her for a month or two after I met her because of first impression,but then I had a dream I said to my friend “Shelby is cool” in the dream. And I trust my dreams. So I told my friend that I was then cool with her. And we wished each other happy birthday this last month. Me and the girl 
If they’re judging others around you, they’re judging you around others.
@Sardonic That’s people for ya. There are certain levels to what people say. Either way, it’d be good to just know up front.
are you saying judgement is unavoidable???
I think you’re saying more than that, but I get that out of it. And it’s true. But I guess I try to hold back my judgement a bit. Some people don’t think of the repercussions of being judge mental so much. Usually people in position of power are less inhibited about their judgement. But not always. My professor in school for example. She is not judgemental. But has a position of power. She is careful with her words.
If someone is under a position of power it’s hard to be “effective” with judgement sometimes.
Like “the most oppressed person in the world” might be very judgmental but do they really effect anyone much with their judgements??
when i was younger i would meet alot of people who seem like they hate me than after some time they like me alot, nowadays i dont have much interaction and dont speak to people too much so the hate never changes
I judge people rarely, maybe politicians and journalists, but in general I see the good in people. I make a personal court case out of my wrongs and judge myself. Fair enough.
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