Think I’m waking up to the reality of my isolation and wondering if it will always be like this. If it is, it may be hard to see it all through, and go the whole distance.
My schizophrenia and Brando delusion are equally DAMNING. People don’t talk about them and don’t know that I’m innocent or at least “not guilty”.
It’s gloomy here and I still am not sleeping great. Maybe that’s why I’m so down.
I totally understand how you feel. It’s hard to reach out when you have to be afraid others will find out you’re sz, and then be rejected by them. It really sucks.
Yes, I reached out on Facebook to an old friend to give a second chance at connecting(not the girl I’ve mentioned previously). But was ignored which hammered home these feelings. My personality helped me to spill the beans over years time. Not to mention I think its the type of thing that spreads like wildfire. But do you really keep your diagnosis from everyone? That must be painful in it’s own right…
I know what you mean. I’ve reached out to people only to be ignored. Often i’m the one that has to instigate every social interaction with other people. Hardly anyone makes the effort to contact me first. So i’ve given up trying to connect with most people. Don’t get me wrong, i get on well with most people - as in most people seem or appear to me that they like me well enough, they just don’t want anything more to do with me after a few pleasantries are exchanged. So i do it alone. At least i have my partner or i truly would be alone.
You’re probably in a better place since you work and have a partner. Although then again I live with my folks and my brother is close by. I guess I’m just in a bad mood. I don’t have Bipolar, so this mood swing from yesterday to today is a little uncharacteristic of me.
Well unstable mood is supposed to be a characterisitic of schizophrenia. I get in foul moods sometimes too. Extreme agitation and the like. Take care of yourself. It’ll pass.