My doctor says it is schizoaffective but I think it is something else, not bipolar either.
It is like a deficiency. My mind does not function well but people around me do not notice I am ill.
First time I was psychotic for 11 months and no one around me had a clue.
I can not decide whether people are just stupid to not notice that there is something wrong with me, especially people who know me, or for real my illness is invisible.
I am still so angry about this that I had absolutely no one during the most difficult days of my life.
Hey same I was full blazes in deep psychosis for about a year my first episode and no one noticed other than a close friend who I got involved in my delusions. Despite being very ill I knew if I let on to anyone about what I was experiencing that they would think I was crazy when I KNEW I wasn’t crazy. So I pretended that nothing was going on. I involved my friend because I really trusted her and desperately wanted help with what I was dealing with or at least wanted someone to know. Had her help me “exorcise spirits” from my room and told her about how I was the next messiah and all this other madness.
I think it’s hard to accept you have one or another mental illness when you don’t fit the stereotypical image of it. Like I can function perfectly fine off of antipsychotics and appear normal. The reality is that DSM diagnoses are incredibly vague and generalized and do not take personal deviation into account. Someone posted an article on here just the other day saying how no two people experience mental illness in the same way, it is just that individualized.
When I talk about what I’ve experienced it always shocks mental health professionals because in person I am very upbeat, coherent, etc.
I did resent being found out by my family. It resulted in a hospitalization. I caught on soon enough. I think it is enough to have a therapist, good, free medication, and people who love you and whom you love knowing that you are sick. Other people whom you tell are likely to exclude you. They won’t talk to you at all.