I let myself get treated pretty badly when I was young. My friends treated me worse than my enemies. Very sadistic verbal and physical bullying. They crossed way over the line. But I’ve worked, gone to college, had money, friends since then. Its been 40 years but people just want to see me a certain way.
I had quite a shock at work about a week ago. I was making my rounds emptying wastebaskets and I was talking to an office worker/ soldier. I’ve seen him around for a couple of years. We are friendly but the other day I stopped to talk to him. He asked (to be polite) how I was doing. I replied, “I’m having a bad day”.
His answer was exactly this: “Oh, I didn’t know you had good days and bad days”. WTH!!?? What, am I an animal or something? Because I “got” exactly what his reply meant. I can’t blame him entirely.
I was so happy to discover last year that some people like me that i went overboard and now I try to be liked by everyone. So I understood why he thought what he did but he’s dead wrong. I think I spread myself to thin by trying to get along with EVERYBODY. The old, “You have to stand for something or you will fall for anything” flashed through my mind. So yeah, I’m taking my friendliness down a notch.
Dead seriously, my life improved so much when I stopped being so “nice”.
I’m still a good person, I think, I’m just not going out of my way for the ungrateful and undeserving, which of course, is most everyone.
You could probably benefit similarly.
It’s a letdown but it’s worth it to be friendly to folk. Yeah you can’t please everyone and it’s pointless trying but it’s good having people who say hello to you and silly little conversations are important. Not everyone is a jerk.
I’m still aggressively social but you win some and you lose some and it took me a long time getting to a point where it doesn’t matter to me…say what you want but you can’t rain on my parade! Your a good egg matey. Dont’ give up…there’s people out there who appreciate good eggs!
Can I ask what u think he meant by that comment? Bc I would be so f*cking offended because it means he thinks you’re a lesser person. But maybe he just meant he didn’t know you had good or bad days as in he didn’t take you as a complainer. Probably not the latter and I’m sorry he said that to u. But does he mean you’re just always flat bc you’re on AP’s or something? All this makes me never want to get back into the real world
It offended me pretty bad. Really bad actually. But in AA they taught me that if you have a conflict with someone it’s good to step back and see your own part in it. I’m not excusing what he said at all but I do see my part in the problem.
That’s much appreciated @roguetwo
But do u think he meant u appear always flat so as u wouldn’t have good or bad days?
I think I read somewhere that people with my diagnosis of paranoid schizophrenia tend to suffer less from flat effect as other types.