I found out as a child that it hurts me to be mean to others. That is something I forget later or I would have never done some of the things I’ve done that I’m not proud of. I know everyone has done things we’re not proud of but I think the worst part of this is becoming numb to it and not modifying our behavior in any way we can. I think we szs are under a lot of pressure to change but the pain of the disease makes it difficult. Are we all feeling the pain of something we didn’t do and got known for?
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I had a great upbringing. Plenty of love and support. I don’t think in those terms but I’m not sure if it’s a direct thing with sz. I got sz with a great upbringing and had problems since I was a child too.
It is what it is and those other issues are probably worth having a chat to a therapist if your still wondering. Like I see you dealing and unpacking a lot of your childhood here but finding a good therapist is something you should do if it’s doable. Simply to unload some of your stuff to someone who is trained to deal with it…not that I’m big on American therapy but hey…
I know it’s probably a bunk suggestion at your stage of life but I think you would learn more about you talking to someone about it! I have quite a few friends just to do these things and if you don’t have them then it’s not a bad solution if your not out of pocket.
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It’s feeling that I am not myself. And more than once, I trusted a doctor and got hurt. I learned there were no consequences for being incompetent and that it didn’t matter anyway. It was a lie. The consequences for trusting a therapist found me unrecognizable and not able to change back to who I was. I don’t know if I could ever take that chance of trusting a therapist, again. It’s why I keep unloading to you on the forum. I think I secretly still think it doesn’t matter and doesn’t bother anyone. I’ll try to deal with it.
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Yeah. I’m hearing that. It’s no drama’s here. We have been through it. It was just really shitty back when you were diagnosed and went through things like therapy. I’m sorry you really had to deal with all that and sz and back on the older meds.
You’ve done well to get where you are @PinCushion. You should be proud of that and it’s nice to have you around to help others here with your experience. It’s starting to change ever so quickly these days so hang in there.
I wasn’t being critical. Just saying out of kindness to you as you’ve always treated me well.
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Everyone is under pressure to change. It’s called life.
Do you mean there’s no such thing as being established?
I’ll let you know if it ever happens.
In other news, I quit my job today.
About ten minutes later a senior manager called me and told me I was not quitting.
Stressful day.
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What some people will do to assure themselves that they are needed.
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I’m going to miss you.
My employment contract specifically says one thing and I also have an accommodation to that effect. I’m working from home. They are recalling a bunch of remote employees back to working in branches as part of a re-org. A manager tried to poach me for a local branch. I made it clear I’d quit rather than go into a branch again. I’m regarded as one of the top experts on commercial auto fleet insurance in my company in my province and can’t be replaced easily. That’s why the senior manager reached out nearly immediately.
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I am here for me, I am here for you, both things help me on different levels. I learn from you, and everyone. This forum is a type of therapy me thinks. Peer to peer therapy. You give, you get, on a somewhat level playing field. I don’t think you are bothering anyone, but if they are bothered they have the choice not to click. Have a lovely day @PinCushion
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I thought you were joking. Congratulations for keeping on.
@shutterbug, so, does this mean you get to continue to work from home, or will you have to go back into the branch office?
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