Overwhelming desire to punish self

That’s all I’ve been thinking about lately. I’ve been bad, I’ve been bad I’ve been bad. I’m a failure. I should punish myself for being a failure. I haven’t been doing as well as I usually do at school and it’s bad and I’m bad for not studying as much as I have.

And lately I can’t get the demons out of my head and I’ve been having nightmares and it hurts me because I just want it to stop I want to scream and cry but I CANT do ANYTHING I want a hug but I can’t enjoy hugs because I just picture those things restraining me and holding me when I wanted to get away.

I am very upset today, nothing is going my way and I miss my world and my Other Family and I want to go back to my dreams where I’m my true self instead of this crippled body in this gross human world that’s marring the beauty of the natural world.

It’s just been a bad day for me.

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I hope you find peace Anna. I hope you will give the medication a chance.

Fight against that negative self talk. Think of positive things about yourself.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. We can be our own worst enemy at times. I not sure what sample means by the med comment. Seeing a pdoc is a good idea or at least a tdoc… But I found they work best together as meds and therapy go hand in hand. So if you are seeing a pdoc get in contact asap. I hope things improve very quickly for you… Hang in there!

It’s because I don’t want to go on medication. I just feel the negatives would outweigh the positives, I’d rather not go on it unless I feel it’s absolutely necessary.

And I think my bad morning just kind of set me off. I’ve been in kind of a turbulent mood recently. I’m sort of going through this purging phase right now where I’m becoming aware of all my flaws and trying to improve them. I’m trying to think of it as a cleansing fire but it’s still tough. Anyways the day ended up good so I’m pretty fine now. Still stressing over upcoming midterms though!

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Problem with the time difference is I’m always getting here to late although happy your days improved.

. Fish is brain food btw and will help with concentration for your exams. Omega-3 is a processed version and can be brought at the supermarket these days. Helps with a great deal of the symptoms of most of the mental illnesses as well. I have faith in you and I’m sure you will do well in the midterms but I will wish you the best of luck for it

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it might be time to consider taking some meds…might be meds would help with the up and downs of the moods…wouldn’t hurt to talk it over with a councilor or doctor…reguardless,i am glad you are feeling better…hang tough…

Stress can be a real trigger for schizophrenics. I get a bit stressed in life because of daily worries of mine about the pets, safety of driving, etc. I hope you get a talk with your psychiatrist about how you feel?

is this one of those caming down off of a voice trip or real bad para storys i remember coming off schizophrenia ride that took a month of frightisum…!