I have this thing that I try to be nice with everyone. It’s kind like being a people pleaser and not wanting to shake the boat. It’s terrible because I feel it brings me some emotional issues. It’s far better to be honest with people instead of trying to manipulate them with your niceness.
I’ll start a new job and I think it’s important to me to deal with this issue.
Have you guys dealt with something similar? How did you manage it?
The way I see it, you can be kind and honest. You can phrase things so you’re being upfront without bringing harshness into it. The truth hurts sometimes but you can ease the sting with the right attitude. I’m confident you can do this.
I’ve been overly nice to people who probably didn’t deserve it. Looking back, if I were given the chance to redo those interactions, I would definitely choose polite honesty over niceness for niceness’ sake. It’d be a hard adjustment but a needed one.
It’s what is difficult for me. Sometimes I think: “Oh, this person is being rude” or “I should be honest and say no”, but when I realize that there is a manner of doing it with politeness, there is where I freeze. I don’t know how to do it in polite manner. It’s kind 8 or 80. Or I accept being nice or go harsh.
Ahh, I getcha. It’s a hard skill to learn and one I can’t say I’ve mastered. How would you feel about using as short of phrases as possible as applicable and smiling while you’re saying them? “No thank you”, “I respectfully disagree”, “I’d rather not”, etc.?
Though if you needed to provide a longer explanation that could definitely complicate things. Communication is hard. 
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