In 3 weeks of online dating I’ve learned a lot. I talked to 4 men. 2 were out for quick sex, 1 was a marijuana grower, and one was very religious and I’m an atheist. I learned not to trust people. I learned that anyone can say anything, I learned to be careful what you share and most importantly I learned I’m not ready to date.
Yes I would like a snuggle or two and it would be nice to go and do something every now and again but I’m not willing to give up pieces of me in exchange for those things. I would rather be alone. I guess I’m happy being single and really just want some friends. I’ve deleted all my profiles.
I’m going to muster up the courage to go to art group and maybe I might make some friends there. And if I get comfortable going to that group maybe I can go to some other groups too, if there are any other open groups.
Maybe I’ll try online dating again at a later point but I kind of like meeting people in person better, you can get a feel for them and through networking you know a little something about them and what they’re about.
I just find that I don’t care enough about finding someone at the moment, the last date I was on was with someone I really liked and it could have been serious but she had someone else woo her more than me and she is now married. I was familiar with her and I wish I would have been more upfront about how I felt in retrospect but I was just coming out of a recent divorce and I didn’t really want to just ‘settle’ with the next match (as my ex wife did ha).
But besides that last dated one nobody else has really met my criteria. I recently got in moods where I have been wanting to have sex but I don’t know if I can do the whole process of tinder and sex, part of me wants to but I’m not entirely vested in it. But it is getting close to 3 years without sex and I miss it.
I like the idea of meeting someone but I can’t communicate the way I have in the past and my emotions are pretty blunted now compared to before schizophrenia. That may have been what held me back on the dates with the last woman.
On an unrelated note I am never going to get used to calling women the same age as me women. I want to say girls but hell I am talking about 30 year old women but I still feel pretty young and being called a man makes me feel 10 years older.
Online dating is such a weird concept though. It would be nice if I clicked with someone but I am picky.
I have over a thousand matches on Tinder, and it has led to 3 good dates, and some bad ones. Don’t let some frogs get you down. Dating is a numbers game. You keep looking until you find someone right for you. The guy I’m currently seeing is hard to hang out with but once we are together it is amazing, like we are on the same wavelength. He was a little too forward with me at one point but I told him and he backed off. Men can be dogs, and gay men can be 10x worse than straight men, but I told him my limits and he respected them.
I’m so happy for you that you found someone nice to date. He sounds great. I just discovered I’m not really wanting to date. I really just want friends. I’m not interested in taking it further. Sex has no appeal to me right now in my life. In fact, it disgusts me. And the men, who maybe healthfully want to explore that aspect would be offensive to me. The only way dating would work is if I found an asexual man or woman and I wouldn’t know how to go about that. So anyway I’ll be happy making friends. The only thing I’ll miss is the snuggles.
Good job! You respect yourself and love yourself. That is so important! You have to love yourself before you can get love from someone else. I love that you’re taking care of yourself and going to art group. Good for you!
I tried dating site and never had any luck, a couple of replies, but nothing I was interested in, I think dating sites are more suited for younger people, not my age
Meeting at something like a art group would be really good, hope that works out for you
Yes, I’m really going to try to get over my fear and go to art group. Then I will meet some real people just for friendship. Maybe we could go get coffee sometime or go for a walk.
A few years ago, I was on nolongerlonely.com. I talked with several nice men. One introduced me to our sz forum and is a member. The other is a friend who makes me laugh.
Best advice? Be honest. Open minded. Kind. Do YOU.
I said NolongerLonely was a failure… it’s just that I looked up recent new members and the most recent was 6 days back; the second most recent was 10 months back. Now I’m on a site for normals… again the whole hopeful and amorous mood came over me… and I think, threw money down the drain Haha