Schizophrenia.com

On this day, three years ago

I entered full-blown “psychosis”. I was manic, happy, and ready to die. I had spirits visiting me and they told me to quit my job - that I was a servant of God and I was in God’s hands from that point on.

I had starved myself that day and continued dehydrating my entire body by spitting any excess saliva. I also walked about a half marathon, all around inner city Milwaukee and down to the beach to thoroughly enter a caloric & water deficit. I was up all night that night and felt my consciousness slowly separating from this world into another one. I was dying, so it felt, and “angels” were happy that I was finally departing this world.

I was hoping to die within the next few days, of starvation or dehydration - one of the two, but police escorted me off the beach & into a hospital when people called the cops on me. I committed no crime, and to this day still do not understand why I was put into custody. All I was doing was conversing (in their eyes to myself) and just hanging out on the beach.

It was a beautiful day, almost makes me cry because of how glorious the weather was that day. Tomorrow morning marks the day I was picked up. I’m hoping to go for a walk tomorrow & every 29th of September as an annual remembrance of my endurance those days.

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I sat in a parked car during the super hot days of July for three days and two nights until a cop escorted me to a psychiatrist where I was immediately sent to a state mental ward. I don’t want to glorify the suffering I experienced then, I hope you fall “out of love” with when you were psychotic. You’re better off stable dude.

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How can a psychiatrist or psychologist who has not been through this ever hope to understand the total mysticism of a psychosis? There needs to be more Schizophrenic people employed in psychiatry, because they would know what we’ve been through and what we find impossible to truly put into words. I relate to your story - I understand.

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Sounds intense dude.

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Wow

Beats the time I…you don’t wanna know, long story

You see here You’re entering a black and white trap.

balck and white trap. That’s why you hide under the boardwalk or something. or dodge the police and panicing on lookers that might be trying to just save your life like a bunch of idiots.

You know… oga emit gnol a dedne are eippih eht esuaceb s’ti

Like noone understands that in the first place anyway because there are a large majority of people that actually think marijana is spawned from satan— which actually never changed-- and such peace movements in *that& particualr direction have died out completely and there is no momentum supporting that anymore especially as drugs have become more and more powerful.

Peace movements are now more towards riligious and sexual tolerance and political correctness.

It’s like trying to do the disco in a nightclub now adays.

but you didn’t hear that from me right? I tried to put that as softly as I could and now I have a headache… so I hope that was right.

I was never a hippie though

These words just rung in my head for years actually, “wtf do you think happened to rj?”

however, I have the antidote,

“wtf do you think happened to odysseus1? oh yeah nobody even knows because he recovered 100% and his brain lesions healed and shrank back to normal size.”

I will now sleep in peace tonight.

good day.

OK man I know that’s not enough to save you.

Here, Here, I’m a paramedic. Here’s the million dollar needle.

Just become a homosexual-- and you’ll get carried away by the peace crowd again.

All you have to do IMO if you wanted to follow this suggestion is just look different-- everyone will sweep you away off your feet again.

Psychosis kills. Nearly killed me too.

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