I looked back at some older posts when my mom had cancer and my sister was struggling with homelessness and my god i looked crazy sorry to use that word but I feel pathetic I made over 200 posts basically talking to myself
I was under a lot of stress at the time but I’m thinking about getting a new account because omg those ramblings were stupid and pathetic
I need to stop looking at my old posts
You weren’t / aren’t pathetic. Think of it like a personal journal.
We all lose composure in the face of adversity. Life can sure kick hard.
Yeah, I had the same epiphany and just went anon and created a new account lol. 
I’m just worried I’ll end up sick again and make a absolute fool out of myself again but the one that I got hidden due to embarrassment my sister was homeless living in a trailer in the woods and my mom was going through the worst of her breast cancer and I was having clearly a mixed episode
I looked so severely crazy
You didn’t look crazy. You were experiencing a normal flux of symptoms from stress.
I’ve noticed I’m calmer since tye 2 week break tho but I think I overthink a lot anybody would have had issues during that even a neurotypical person
If I start getting anxiety like I did a few months ago I’ll take another break still I feel kinda embarrassed at some of what I’ve said over the span of 4 years
You’re good dude. It’s just an online forum… I think everyone will survive…
I was the same way when I was pretty sick… made very self centered, arguably narcissistic post. But it’s fine, it didn’t really hurt anybody…
Just good to hear your doing better now… that’s what this is all about
I’m gonna try to be a better member and complain less I know I don’t show it here rn I’m gonna try to never have a episode again
Can’t make any promises tho and I think I’m a idiot at times and I end up feeling like I need a self esteem boost at times
I knew i shouldn’t of looked at old posts I made during mixed episode but I just overthink plus if I was happy during the time my mom had breast cancer and my sister was homeless i would be a legit uncaring person
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with what you’ve said here man… but then again I’m not the best member here…
There’s nothing wrong with what you’ve said about your family struggling though… that’s part of the community… that goes along with schizophrenia imo… there’s nothing wrong with opening up about personal issues… doesn’t mean youre a bad, selfish person
I think that’s good your aspiring to do better tho… I need to do the same…
I’ve noticed something maybe somebody here can help me figure it out my episodes where I feel down I also feel like I babble a lot and I haven’t seen anybody on the server act in a similar way
I’m not saying I don’t have psychological issues probably psychosis but I’m starting to doubt anybody here has had a episode like mine idk it’s just a theory maybe there’s something else going on
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