Something I have struggled with on/off for as long as I can remember is assigning special meaning to things, basically reference problems that sometimes evolve into paranoia, from what I have read.
But sometimes some things in life make this particularly tempting, those really uncanny moments.
The first one I can remember was when I was a kid, about 12, and we had tornadoes where we lived. I was home alone with my brother, and the weather became really violent. I broke one of my favorite CDs in half (which is actually a lot harder than it would seem when you’re doing it with your hands) as a “sacrifice” to whatever higher powers there might be, in exchange for protecting us. Well later on the news, it showed the path of destruction this tornado had torn up, and the tornado had lifted up, passed over our neighborhood, and then touched down on the other side and kept going. I mean talk about convincing.
But it’s still risky thinking, because sometime sin retrospect, there won’t have been even that much evidence before my mind ran wild with something.
Well I had one of the moments today, one of the uncanny coincidence moments that made me outright laugh.
I’m currently trying to get in to a see psychiatrist because some of my symptoms have started flaring a bit over the past few weeks. Lately I’ve been up all night, getting lost in reading things I probably shouldn’t, having weird and uncomfortable mental experiences, etc. I’ve been teetering around wondering if I am mentally ill or if I really am being harassed by demons or something similar.
Well my mother and her husband ordered Chinese takeout for dinner tonight, everyone got a fortune cookie. I just went and grabbed mine from the kitchen to open and eat it. Like I almost always do in that sort of situation, I started assigning meaning to it before even opening it. Sometimes it’s just a gut feeling of like, “This is going to be important, pay attention.” Sometimes this can be over something as trivial as which song will play next in a shuffled playlist.
It says: “Your judgement is a little off at this time. Rely on friends.”
I couldn’t help it I pretty much laughed my *** off. Thanks, universe.