Oh great the police are here grr f%%%
Nothing about our respective illnesses is simple @princess, we don’t know each other and I’m no expert on anything, i am not judging or trying to enable things or anything like that, i am curious, because i read the above posts and I am not ashamed to admit i am lost and would like to know, if you are willing to share calmly and you feel like i deserve to know, the whole story on this situation from your perspective. Its curiosity driven by me unfettered need to understand things. i have no relatable experiences and want to understand this more. Like the hands, why are they toxic? What is your diagnosis if you don’t mind sharing, and how long has this been tormenting you? You can tell me to ■■■■ and mind my own business, i just think it would help in the future if we all understood your perspective more clearly, from your words.
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That’s okay. My diagnosis is not certain. In the last city I was in I was sz which was the start of the year. Now in the new city I am cptsd with psychosis nos. I don’t know ae. I don’t agree with either. I think I have a bit of ptsd and that’s it. I can feel the badness of the hands run up into my arms into my bloodstream. This has been going on for about 1 year and a half to two years. I’m an open book I just get frustrated sometimes with having to explain things sometimes. It’s always who’s hands are they when did it happen how could the police have taken them why is there no marks from surgery. So excuse me if I don’t explain myself that’s why. I come on here as you guys and the other residents at the supportive accommodation place only understand.
The only person i ever knew that felt like this was a person i was “accommodated” with at the Doctor Solomon Carter Fuller MH center in Boston Mass, he told me that was something called BIB or BID, maybe with two I’s, i cant remember. I am not saying that it is, or isn’t, but he had the same desire and the same feelings about specific body parts. He spent 8 years in various institutions with different DX over those years til they told him about this. I don’t know what its called, i just remember he sad BIB or BID a lot. if you don’t feel like the ae is right, no harm bringing it up. I hope that this can help, it cant hurt right? All options should be opened to all individuals and treatments should be attempted until a persons suffering is gone or minimal at least. Hope this helps and thanks for sharing 
Was it body dysmorphic disorder? I don’t think I have that. I’m comfortable in myself just not the hands. Thanks for your input 
Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) Here is what i found when i googled mental health biid, bid, bib. the article i found is kind of biased and full of thought crimes, its confusing to me and i don’t want to give bad advice. One statement says - People like Jason have been classified as ‘‘transabled’’ — feeling like imposters in their bodies, their arms and legs in full working order. and another says that they do this to be on disability or be disabled and it doesn’t sound like what you are going thru, but in some regards, it sounds like your feelings about the hands being toxic and not your own could fit, maybe the hands are the imposters and not you being the imposter? Its a recently added mental disorder, so maybe there isn’t enough research to define all the symptoms or signs. No clue, all i know for sure is i hope you get thru this.
@princess what reason could people have to do a secret surgery to give you someone else’s hands? Is that what you think happened? How would they benefit from that?
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Hey @princess I hope you feel better soon.
I do not wish to enable your delusions or anything but I think you should consider something. Let’s say IF the hands you have are not yours, are you fully aware of the damage that would come from trying to remove them yourself? Have you seen what an amputated limb looks like? What would you be able to do without any hands? You would probably have to get prosthetic hands, and they may not even work if the nerves in your wrist had been damaged.
Please just think about this. I understand you’re struggling right now but it would be a tragedy if you were to cause irreversible and long lasting damage to yourself.
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It’s hard to explain and I don’t want to put anyone at risk for knowing why
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@princess so you’re saying if we knew why they’d do that to your hands, then we’d be in danger?
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Make your decision, if you don’t like to live in the hospital you have to live with your hands, otherwise you’ll live there forever.
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Please love your hands. They are the only hands you have and they are wonderful. Even if they don’t feel like yours they are there for you. Having no hands would be so sad. Take good care of your hands and they will take good care of you. All the best
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