Of Changes (Latuda)

DX'd - Sz/SzA
1

So I won’t lie. The last three weeks have been very hard. I don’t know what got to me but around the third week of my quarter I had psychotic break and almost ended up in he hospital.

I was basically going nuts and had to get out. I told a friend as I was going to the ledge, and she managed to chase me down and basically tackle me. It was late at night. She cried for ten minuets, and I felt nothing. I felt nothing for anyone. A couple days later I felt everything. That’s when things got bad again. Basically lots of bad stuff. I still went to class, and it was awful.

I got put on a different medication, Latuda a few days ago and haven’t really seen any affects yet.
I finished up my midterms but am paranoid about the scores. I was suffering through new side effects all through the tests, and it was again, awful.

I basically don’t know what I am living for, 'cause it sure isn’t me.

Any advice? Thank you.

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2

You have insight so it seems better I guess =(
so sorry to hear. Hope Latuda works for you !!

As for your tests, I guess you can take them again ? by any chance in a short period once you feel a lot better?

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I can’t take them again. If I learned anything from college its that the world doesn’t understand sz and rarely makes exceptions. I’m in kinda a down mood but yeah.

I guess I’m just pissed off at the world. I can’t get used to it, and I don’t feel like i want this life.

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Idk. I’m kinda done.

5

can’t get used to what? the illness ?

comme on cheer up!!!

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I’m just done. Like it doesn’t even matter anymore. I’m sick of meds, sick of sz, sick of school, sick of people, sick of everything. I’m ready.

7

ready for what???
I think you just need to breathe and take a break. Some distractions…

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You don’t want to be ready. That’s crazy. It could be worse.

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i’m sorry you went through that. I hope latuda works for you. if you feel any worse or see no improvements after a few weeks tell your doctor. when I was first put on it before I had to keep getting med increases it worked pretty good but its a good idea to eat before taking it.

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I’ve been ready for a while. I’m tired of hanging on.

@cherie ya know what i mean. I am no longer afraid.

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I swear I dunno what you mean. Hope you don’t wanna kill yourself!

Maybe an injection could help you? could you call your doc ? emergency line ?

You came so … far!!! to just let go ? have you been studying for a year /

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Almost a year. I don’t really care. Thats the problem. I have no urge to call any line, to do anything guys. I just want to go.

13

You won’t feel like this shortly. If you just had an episode your brain chemicals are depleted.
I’ve had this for 15 years and I’m still going strong

14

how about some distraction. You don’t have to do anything at al…

let go and relax… turn off the light, put on some music… and just let go. If you can hear or do some meditation that would work too.

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15

I’ve been feeling like this for the past few weeks. I’ve had these episodes before. Don’t you ever just get sick of this ■■■■.

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I’m too figity. I can’t just do nothing it drives me mad but I want to nothting. I just don’t understand.

17

I don’t understand either…

I don’t think we do but we try… =)

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But, I don’t want to try my whole life. I don’t want this. I want a normal life. I want to get finish college, get married, and have kids. But I guess ■■■■ that cause idk.

19

Look I lost my dignity when I got sick I lost all my friends my dreams my career all went down the drain.
But I held on and over the last fifteen years there were some times when I said to myself, thank god I didn’t kill myself! Then there were more hard times but I keep going now. Mostly because I like myself.
But I also could never hurt myself again after what I’ve been through. Plus they might actually come out with a better treatment for this like tomorrow. Are you really sure you want to hang it up and miss the opportunity to say you conquered this illness.
You’ve only been sick for a year too?

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I’ve laid in bed for longer then that.