Now I see it

I’ve been gently told by family that I get more delusional when I’m manic.

I didn’t believe them… there is no harm in feeling great… and isn’t that what people want us to be? Feeling great… getting things done… reaching out to others…

But now that I’ve been on Depakote for my “mood element” and I haven’t been swinging much at all any more… I’ve starting to see the difference between “a good day” and a manic blow-out.

Now I get what people were trying to tell me… I get more delusional when I’m manic. That is when I hear the universe talk to me… that is when I’m sure I can heal everyone… that is when I’m so blissed out that the sneaky brained thinking starts creeping in.

I’ll keep up with the Depakote… for a while I wasn’t sure it was really doing much…

I guess the take away message… be patient and give the meds a chance to work…

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Hope it all levels out for you. I’m sure with time things will only get better.

Good luck J.

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Good to hear that you’re feeling more normal. Yeah, unfortunately mania is almost expected in some walks of life. I’m not even kidding. You make a good point- “we’re expected to feel great do do lots of things” that’s what I heard-well yeah but is it really healthy? Sort of like how psychopaths make excellent CEOs?

I never really have had mania, save for like this one day I was having nuclear fallout from getting wasted a few days before and for some reason I did feel hypomanic. It only lasted a few hours. My sister has bipolar and I’ve been educated fairly well about mood disorders- I knew something was wrong that day. My pdoc attributed it to the fallout from getting wasted, then throwing up my meds the next morning. Easily solved- no more getting wasted ever.

Before meds, I was never manic, instead I felt flat and overdosed on preworkout like four scoops every day, and it just made me incredibly agitated yet sharp in the mind. I wasn’t happy. I was very pissed off and experiencing tons of positive symptoms.

The the MMPI-2 confirmed that I was actually a little bit on the depressed side of the mood spectrum. Well that’s that.

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Its so good that you trust your family! They will have your back. I always need a third party for my son-when hes unmedicated-which has been for the past year!