The issue isn’t that I don’t want them but I feel with my illness that it’s perhaps not such a good idea. But it hurts so bad. I mean telling a guy you don’t want kids and being ditched over it. Mum is like all guys want kids so you might as well stop looking
This is no help, but check out my imaginary honest dating profile:
Sometimes honesty is the best policy.
3 Likes
I was talking to this guy and he told me what he was looking for in an ideal partner
-
She needs to respect his parents as he does hers
-
She will need to be vegetarian as he wants to bring up his children to be vegetarian.
The second one I’m vege but I had to tell him I don’t want kids as if I didn’t I’d be leading him on.
Weird convo to have with someone you’ve not met.
1 Like
Always be honest. I’ve never used a dating site, but shouldn’t there be an option to only accept communications from people who don’t want kids? That would seem like a basic requirement of a dating site in my humble opinion.
2 Likes
When I went to see my private consultant (he’s Asian too) he told me to stay away from dating sites but that he recommended one to me specially for Asians looking for lifelong partners. I joined but not having luck.
1 Like
I understand where you’re coming from. I don’t want children because of my bad genes. Plus as much as I love the idea of being a father, I feel I would be a terrible one. My father was never very active in my life, still isn’t.
1 Like
My husband was indifferent about kids when we met. Now he doesn’t want any. We’re getting old, anyway. While dating, I met men without interest in kids. I think there are plenty out there.
PS. I don’t blame you. It would be very hard to raise kids with this illness, risk them getting it, and try to manage life and this illness at the same time.
1 Like
@Wendy no one in my family has bipolar I guess I’m “lucky”… but if I think practically … with my mum being right she doesn’t even trust me enough to look after a pet how will I manage a more serious responsibility of a child. When I mentioned this she said a child is different. Well yes. A child is a serious responsibility one that can be lifelong
1 Like
I dunno, I think if my dx were biploar, I’d probably seriously consider kids. It’s been hard for me to decide not to have kids but the schizophrenia dx tends to denote poorer prognosis and lower functioning, plus I’ve got other issues, too.
It’s one of those choices that other people can’t really give advice on. You know your own functioning better than anyone and if you think that parenting is a bad choice for you, then obviously that’s something to consider. My final decision was based on how I would be likely to react if someone damaged my child. No joke: I would hurt them badly. That, of course, is not healthy and my child would benefit little from ending up with a mom in prison, so no kids for me 
1 Like
All guys don’t want kids.
1 Like
@anon80629714, if you want a guy that causes you trouble over kids, send him to me and I will make him not want kids.
Usually guys tend to bend to my will.
Paradoxically, when I was healthy I didn’t want kids. Now I want them, but I can’t have a relationship because of my symptoms…
@Andrey the question is not whether you want kids, but whether the kids want to be born.
There are a lot of people who don’t want to live, have you considered that?
1 Like
If my child ever says that to me, I’ll threaten to kill him myself. Maybe then he will cherish his life more…
I think that the less kids the better, but unfortunately I can’t ban them.
1 Like
In this case, have we chosen to be schizophrenic?
I wouldn’t recommend anyone with this illness, sz/sza, having kids. I did it. But, I didn’t know I had sza when I got pregnant. All I know is that I didn’t have anymore after I found out. And it was extremely hard raising him with this illness. Harder than it should have been. I was darned if I was going to have any more children. I loved my child dearly all of his life. But he contracted sz himself and died young at his own hand at 30 years of age. I could not have known. I’m very glad today that I chose not to have any more kids after him.
I’m sorry that happened I don’t know what To say
I reckon there is a pretty significant population of guys who don’t want kids. I don’t want kids. I am just not consistent enough o have kids. I love being an uncle though.
3 Likes
I’m the same way I don’t want kids because I don’t want to pass on this illness to someone els.
1 Like