For me it was always this set idea, that I’d have a husband and kids. Now it’s in my fantasies about the future less and less. I’ve posted on here before about how I’m not so sure I want kids anymore. A lot of work, time, money, energy…I have so many siblings I feel like I’d rather just play with their kids and then be able to go home to my blissfully child free house. That may change in the future, who knows.
As for finding a husband, I am slowly coming to accept it may never happen. I have a lot of baggage there. I don’t know if I will ever be able to have any kind of sexual relationship. I also like having my own space. I honestly think the only way I will be able to have a husband is if he has ptsd like me or else is asexual. I would like to have a husband someday but it’s no longer something I feel I MUST have if that makes sense.
Maybe I will be the spinster with too many animals and that’s ok. I know I’ll never be lonely because of all my friends and I’ll have my siblings and their families too.
I don’t think I’ll have a family either. My ability to get with women is abysmal. It isn’t just that for some reason people usually don’t invite me over to things. So I drift away from them. I would imagine that I will probably eventually get a job. I’ll keep it and just spend the rest of my days going to work. I will never retire because that is all I will have and it is difficult to try to get enough money to live off of for the rest of your life. Most people retire and they seem content with what seems like not enough to live off of. Kids would be nice. I would adopt but I want the kids to be mine. I think I have a better chance at solving one of the millennial problems than getting a woman with my abilities. I’m not being arrogant the chance is low on both accounts.
I am worried about this too. I would not wish my experiences on anyone and would be horrified to find out I had condemned any of my children to the same trials as me. In addition when my symptoms flare up I typically become very distant and isolate myself, which would be bad for young children who need constant attention.
I have the desire to get married one day but I’m realistic that it may not happen. Personally, I would settle for a casual dating website, which I am considering using when I get my own place. As far as children go, I’d like to have a kid or two but I fear I will be transferring my illness to them which I don’t know if I could live with. Actually dating someone again (which I’ve rarely done) would be difficult because of my symptoms, plus I’m not that entertaining or that skilled socially. Also, I fear if I tell a girl I’m dating that I am SZ she would leave me.
My issue is that I think dating sites would be the number one way I’d find someone, but at the same time to go on a dating site you have to put yourself out there. People want pictures and whatnot. People in your life can find you.
I don’t want anyone and everyone knowing about my personal issues, but I feel anyone who starts to date me has a right to know. Otherwise I know it will be a trainwreck where they’ll get sexual at some point and it’ll be all the issues I had with my ex all over again.
I really do want to start a family one day. I would like to meet a lady who already has children though, that way I wont have to worry about passing on any of my genes to a child. Thankfully at my age, dating and marrying women with children is quite common.
I have people in my life who I don’t want to find me. Saying that, I’m also planning on moving to a bigger city nearby me, so hopefully I won’t be found there because of a dating site.
I wouldn’t mind marrying a man who already had children either I don’t think. Once kids hit around 10 they’re pretty chill and want to do their own thing but before then are EXTREMELY high maintenance.
Hi @Anna, I believe “You can do anything”. You refer “asexual” attribute, I think you should not restrict yourself, if someone has an interest in you and Loves you, that you would be secondary. Never give up of your dreams.
That’s true. They can be high maintenance before that age. I suppose I am sort of happy to be near the age of 40, because a lot of women around my age already have grown up children.
no child needs an emotionally absent father: “Look, sweetie, I can tell from your tears that this is really important to you. Daddy just needs ten minutes then I’ll help you deal with it.” I can imagine it being worse than that.
Definitely, someday. I’m realistic that now in my life is not the right time. After I get a decent job and am functioning well on my own, I would like to try and date etc.t
I have double the motivation to succeed, I want to be a role model for super successful
family free person, and I want to be a role model for such people, like Steve Grand
is for gays.
The attention will land me on Good Morning Israel.
Best of luck to you If I ever did have children and they got ill like me of course I would care for them. And I would understand and be able to get them the resources they needed early on unlike my parents did for me so I hope that would improve their quality of life above what mine was. Me not wanting my children to have mental illness isn’t about not wanting to deal with their illness, it’s about not wanting to condemn a child to years of suffering.
Well if that’s your approach @Anna then I love you and have no issue with you.
I would go further and protect all the vulnerable that need my protection,young and old,
related to me or not.
I treat all of society like my kids.
I’ve heard so many horror stories about people with schizophrenic parents that it puts me off from having biological kids of my own.
Pregnancy terrifies me.
I’m 50% sure I’m gay and even if some technological break makes it possible for us to conceive, I’m still abiding from the first two things on the list.
Currently too young to have kids.
However, I’ve always been interested in the idea of adoption and I have a great sympathy for children in foster care. So perhaps I’ll go that route in the future.
If I ever did have children and they got ill like me of course I would care for them. And I would understand and be able to get them the resources they needed early on unlike my parents did for me so I hope that would improve their quality of life above what mine was. Me not wanting my children to have mental illness isn’t about not wanting to deal with their illness, it’s about not wanting to condemn a child to years of suffering.