I’ve been thinking about the world, humanity, what’s going to happen to us, whether or not we can be saved. Everything’s so fu cked up, I feel it, and I worry that we may be reaching the point of no return.
But the I got to thinking about the moral version of the “point of no return.” Do we even deserve to survive? We don’t do our best. Not even close, really. I don’t do my best either. We live in an imperfect world, so of course, we are imperfect, but should we not strive to do better?
Do better than you did yesterday, be better than you were yesterday; are these not our modern proverbial rules to live by? But I fall short. We all fall short, actually, and while I don’t imagine we are outright rejecting moral law, I do believe that we ignore it, and I believe we ignore it because it’s easier to act like morality doesn’t exist than it is to admit any personal responsibility in the evil acts of men. We all do it. But were we built that way, or did we evolve to be this way?
And the more I think, the more I feel that I am a sh it human being. I’ve always had this sort of guilt complex that came along with my obsessions and delusions, but this is different; this is real.
I seem to love myself more than I love others, and while this in and of itself isn’t inherently bad, its implications are. Would I go without water so that someone else could drink? Would I walk through a fire to save a trapped child? Would I give my life to save the life of another? Are these the types of things that God has called me to do? Something about righteous sacrifice? Is that why I was given such a conscience? One that pains me greatly when I fail to achieve moral perfection?
I am in agony. I feel so ill that I may just throw up. I can’t handle it. And the worst part is that any attempts to ease this guilt only make things worse, because kindness is really only kindness when it’s done for another person and not for you. I don’t know what to do.
Keep it in mind, take some alka-seltzer. It is happening all around us. But don’t make yourself sick. You can be the right person. The world is selfish and greedy tbh . A few are trying to be better and not act that way. You are not alone.
There is a lot of evil in this world. I’ve seen it first hand. With that being said, I honestly believe there is more good in this world than there is evil. I’ve seen that first hand too.
One of my favorite quotes is from Ghandi, well the bastardized version of it is “be the change you wish to see in the world.” He really said it in a much deeper and thought provoking way, but we attribute that quote to him regardless.
That quote has given me purpose. I finally know what I want in life, and that’s to advocate for people with mental illness. The change I want to see in the world is mental health stigma be reduced. I’m going to do something about it. I don’t care of people think I’m a lunatic or make fun of me or put me in a straight jacket. I will stand up for those who cant stand up for themselves.
What change would you like to see in the world? My point is, if you dont like the way something is then take action. It’s a hard road to walk, but if people didnt walk that road then nothing would get better.
The world only gets better when good people do something to make it better. Even little things like volunteering at a soup kitchen changes the world. It might not seem like much, but to the homeless and poor, you’re keeping them alive.
I have to disagree with your last paragraph. Kindness is not only for other people, it is so important to be kind to yourself. I’m slowly learning that.
You cant tackle all the worlds problems, but you can tackle an issue that is super important to you.
I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time, I know you’ve lost someone dear to you and it seems like people dont care how you feel, but I care. I honestly do, as do others on this site. You’re a good person and deserve love and compassion.
Falling asleep is a bit like trusting the universe. Giving up to it. Don’t give up the world we are living in. We are worth it. The world is a big place. What you see on tv and news is only a little window. Try to look local. The problems of the world is out of our control and in the hand of the politicians the majority voted.
Yeah, you’re right. I can’t solve the world’s problems, and I accept that, I do, but what I want to understand is subjective moral law. What am I meant to do in order to be a good person? And my intentions, I suppose, are not completely pure, but this is as good as it’s going to get, so where do I go from here?
I’m not a great person; I know that. I’d say that I’m a pretty awful person, actually, and I deserve to be in hell. I don’t hate myself, strangely enough, and it’s not like I make it a point to go around and be an ass hole to others, but I don’t make it a point to be kind, either. I just sort of move along, valuing humor over kindness, and that? It’s just kind of sickening, if I’m honest. I feel sick because I just can’t seem to do what’s right. Sometimes, it’s difficult to determine what’s right or wrong, and if those situations were the only ones in which I chose wrong, then perhaps we would be having a different conversation, perhaps I would be able to live with myself. But I am one who is quick to anger; at people, at God, I have rage. You could call it a fatal flaw, along with laziness, selfishness. I could do more, I should do more, but I don’t, for no reason other than “I don’t want to.”
This happens sometimes. This feeling hits me like a ton of bricks; it feels like someone’s stabbing my soul repeatedly, harder with each blow, and nothing will make it stop.