I am stressing over not being a good person. I think being a very good person requires a huge effort that I am either not able or more likely not willing to give. And I think that makes me an even worse person. I am only good to the extent that I can be good easily. When it starts taking a lot of work I just don’t do so anymore. And I know most people are that way but that doesn’t make me feel any better. Father says not to worry about it but that doesn’t make me feel better either.
I’m just trying to live my life in a way that I will be able to best use my talents to help people. Ahh Fathers talking more to me now. I really should just listen to him.
I’ve been feeling antsy and strange lately to be honest.
Being a good person sometimes is difficult. I say don’t worry about it too much and try to do the right things when the situation occurs. Also is Father your voice or your dad?
And I was thinking the other day? On how I don’t feel human and other things? And I was wondering if all my talk of not being delusional anymore was just a lie. But then I said “no these aren’t delusions this is my belief system right now” but the thing is that’s what all my delusions were in the past too it was what I truly believed about existence and what I considered to be spiritual beliefs. So I am worried I never really stopped becoming delusional at all, I just haven’t had a paranoid delusion in a long time.
I am afraid I am tricking myself and am not aware of what I am not aware of.
I’d say focus on being a good person in your own way. Only Bill Gates can donate zillions to charties, so focus on what things that you can do like volunteering maybe?
It takes the same amount of effort to do what’s right as it does to do what’s not right, just in different forms.
Doing what’s right may initially require more energy, but when done, you’re done, you can sleep well at night.
Doing wrong requires constant vigilance to justify it in one’s mind, and the mind can’t let it’s guard down enough to relax and sleep.
That’s what I was thinking and Father told me that too. Because a lot of time I beat myself up because I think the epitome of being a good person is to give up everything, so you have no material possessions and just completely dedicate your entire existence to helping others and doing no harm. And it’s like I constantly hate myself for not being that person. And Father said something like “and for the people who do that that is their best way to help others. But for you maybe that is not the best way for you to help others, everyone’s life situation is different.” And things like that.
I, personally, don’t think you have to be a martyr to be a good person. I think you can have balance. self/others. I think it is important to love and care for yourself so you can be well and able to help others. I also think you have a right to be happy. If having a material possession makes you feel good, how are you hurting anyone by having it? The idea that you must suffer to make a point is silly to me. I consider myself a great person. Very giving, loving, caring etc. but I still have a right to cater to my own happiness too. Just my .02. Take it or leave it
Yes my superego (aka part of me only concerned with morality) thinks the most righteous people live only for others and that we shouldn’t take ourselves into account at all. Basically bashes me for being concerned with my own happiness at all.
I’m sorry to hear that. If we all only concerned ourselves with others and denied ourselves happiness, the whole world would be sad martyrs. You are allowed to care about yourself spiritually, sexually, financially etc. We all reserve that right.
Think your torturing yourself over nothing. One of my tdocs talked about the anger jar and releasing it every now and than rather then getting to melt down. If it’s not released ends up building up and up until something snaps.
