I used to administer intellectual assessment to a lot of people. I was quite clever before i have schizophrenia. I was very good in mathematics and science. I just love working on problems for the challenge and fun. Today I’m totally a different person. I guess, from my own observation of myself, I’m quite detrimented in my intellectual ability. I can’t take a turn in my head to answer questions. I am just not bright. It’s horrible to reflect on myself.
I’ve changed so much in everyway i myself can’t see I’m the same person. I’m only living in memory. I dont look the same and i don’t act like the same person. I dont understand what it is. I’m still young. Probably i have 40 years to go. But i have lose everything already. I have a brainless easy job. But i dont have fun. I dont like about my life. I can’t find meaning to life. I dont understand why is it happening and what i can do to address the change in my life. My abilities are not getting back. I can only hardly survive. Can I still improve my life? I really need a job, but i cant perform at a level i want it to be. I’m stuck.
It was a slow process of recovery for me. At first I couldn’t understand a sentence or make change but those skills gradually came back as I used them where I could.
I started reading philosophy and psychology (like memory improvement) books because they had ideas you could stop and think about rather than plunging ahead and getting lost in a stream of narrative.
I still read mainly non-fiction (history, science) and short stories but reading has now become one of the greatest pleasures I have. Don’t give up on your mind. Follow your interests, however self centered they are. If you can’t grow up grow sideways.
i can absolutely understand you.but my story different than you.my abilities are losing everyday and i m loosing everything slowly but steadily.first i lost my good looking later i had lost my peace.now i m loosing my mental and phsically health with drugs.this drug made me stupiest person on earth i think.i can t read peacefully my head is burning when i intellectually active because of this drugs.i have only one option for peace.suicide…
You might not be as unintelligent as you think. Could be you have lost your familiarity with some of the things you knew about - like math and science, and what not. I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I’m sure your intelligence will return.
40 years to live is along time. With all the side effects of the medication i expect to live line no more than 10 years now (I’ve been taking medications for 4 years now).