I only just joined this Forum and don’t know everything about how it works. But the guidelines said to rather start a new Thread than revive old ones and that suits me just fine.
I was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder about 8 years ago. I’m male and back then I was 19. Now I’m 26.
I’ve always just tried to ignore it and act like my only problems were the sideeffects of the medication I take.
But I’ve recently realized that that just doesn’t work. I’ve tried studying in universities four times and each time I quit.
I don’t really seem to be making progress in my life.
I don’t manage to keep my appartment tidy, I’m on state benefit and my mother does my laundry.
I want to get my life under control, find a good woman to marry and start a family. But I need to get my life in order now and deal with the illness.
What are things you have found helpful to accomplish that?
In about a month’s time a behavioural therapist will have a spot for me and then I will finally (!) start a therapy.
I was in a rehab a little over a year ago but I was highly suspicious of them back then, plus my medication was to high to actually work on myself back then. So I left
Well you said you are Sza, you’ve been taking your medications for a while now, what symptoms do you still have and how prevalent are those?(Both on the Sz and the mood disorder side of things) What’s your social life like currently?(i.e. do you have any close Friends? How often do you meet? Does this involve seeing and interacting with women who aren’t already familiar with you?)
You’ve told us everything but there’s still a lot of stuff that we need to be aware of to understand the challanges you’ll be facing to get from here to your goals.
I don’t have the answers really. All the inability to get things done sounds like it could be negative symptoms(avolition specifically). There are no easy answers for this. To some degree you may have to try to push through. Some people might recommend Wellbutrin for increased energy and mood. This is something you would have to discuss with your pdoc(psychiatrist), however. I am on a low dose myself and plan on upping to a higher dose at next appt.
Some APs(antipsychotics) can also make it harder to get things done through sedation and drowsiness, but your inability to get things done may be related to the illness itself.
Well, I don‘t meet women that I don‘t know or that I‘m not related to.
But that‘s because I‘m a Muslim convert and we often don‘t consider it good for the different sexes to mix.
I didn‘t mention that part because the forum guidelines explicitly state not to make religion a big thing in our posts but I guess it does need mentioning to make my situation more understandable.
A Muslim friend recently told me that his sister recently converted to Islam and hinted at the possibility of me and her getting married.
That perspective actually motivates me to get my life in order.
I tried to make that last message a reply to your message but it was just added to the Thread I think.
Well I think at the moment I have several issues that need tackling.
Escapism
My problems started when I was quite young. And it was initially problems in social interactions. Not being comfortable in social situtations, spending a lot of time alone.
So I started escaping to fictitious worlds. I would read books, watch movies and TV shows and play video games and get lost in the stories of fictitious people, preferring their lives to my own.
So now sometimes it‘s difficult for me to cope with reality. And when I don‘t indulge in „Escapism“, life seems bleak and without colour.
Social Anxiety
Sometimes it‘s there and sometimes it isn‘t. But the fact that often in social situations I‘m uncomfortable and currently will prefer reading a fantasy novel over going in a social situation, is quite detrimental.
Medication Sideeffects
I take 2 mg of Risperidone in the morning plus 600 mg Valproate/Depakote. In the Evening I take 2,5 mg Risperidone.
These meds make me quite tired and I have concentration issues. I feel empaired by them.
I do see people. I try to go for as many of the 5 daily prayers to the Mosque but the social interactions often don‘t go further than greeting and „How are you doing“. But it‘s still good for me.
One thing I‘ve noticed with this kind of illness (in myself and also others) is that it can be really difficult sometimes to lead a „grownup“ life.
Independence and selfreliability can be quite difficult. I have heavily relied on my parents in these last few years and with them getting older I hope that at some point I will be able to help them with some things.
But at the moment I can barely help myself. But maybe that will change in the near future. We‘ll see
I wish you all the best on your journey, hang in there
I think side effects probably are a factor 4,5 mg Risperidone daily are quite a bit I think.
Yeah, the negative effects of the illness. Maybe. Wellbutrin? Maybe I‘ll ask my doctor about that. Is it an antidepressant? I used to take Antidepressants. But one that I used to take (Cipralex/Escitalopram) helped with me mood but it also made me really selfish und almost unable to feel empathy.
Since then I just try to take as little medication as I possibly can
its hard being independent but its worth it, i love the freedom i get, i struggle with some things but that’s to be expected, I help my Mum out now and then, its hard but it needs to be done,
I’m taking her out on Thursday i think (she is registered deaf/blind) & it is very stressful taking her out but i like doing it, its just tough…
So, I wouldn’t know the first thing about how meeting prospective partners works for a Muslim. Clearly if you lead separate lives and that’s normal, there should be some avenues to make that happen, which could be a very big advantage for you.
I do know that there is an expectation for you to be able to provide for your household. Unfortunately your situation is much too different from my own for me to give any meaningful advice. If you were an average westerner I would tell you to start by working on your looks and health by exercising regularly and then focus on sheer exposure to situations where women are present and have a reason to interact with you or where you have a reason to interact with them. With that not being the case for you the focus should probably be on finding a job you can handle long term and then leveraging your family’s connections or the mosque’s to put you out there, but that’s just speculation on my part.
Yes, it is different to that in an islamic context.
But you’re right about providing and all that. I do have a 10 hours a week job at my father’s small company. He’s self-employed. But I don’t even manage to do the 10 hours a week.
Somehow it is just a lot harder for me to get a good routine going and sustain it.
Welcome Golden! im quite new here as well joined December of last year. Trust me I know how it feels to not be able to move independently. I’m currently still living with my mom and have to have her as transportation since I dont have my own car. And you’re on the right track with getting your life in order. I just talked with my therapist yesterday and getting a pdoc appointment in February
Ok, I think that we’ve narrowed down the focus of where to start to whatever is making those 10 hours problematic. Your situation is not unusual in the slightest. What do you do at your father’s company and what do you feel makes your time there hardest, or is the issue more with showing up?
If you want to take things slowly, in general trying to improve your sense of self-efficacy in order to make you more comfortable in progressively uncomfortable situations and give you some confidence and momentuum will pay dividends in the long term. Seeing that you CAN affect change in your life with things you feel comfortable doing goes a long way in getting you to tackle productively those you are uncomfortable doing.
Thanks for your answer.
It‘s cool to talk about these things with people who are in a similar situation.
I‘ve only done that for a short bit years ago because after that I never wanted to identify myself as „one of them“.
I thought I didn‘t have a stigma about mental illness and people who are affected by it. But I remember that before I had my first psychosis the worst things I could ever imagine was being crazy.
So it‘s cool to talk about all these things with you guys now.
I get that also being reliant on others for transport can be really bothersome. Fortunately in my city public transport is quite good and I also cycle to some places.
Maybe working toward getting your driver‘s licence could be a long term goal for you?
I feel like I myself have been setting the bar to high for myself on many occasions, so maybe smaller goals are more easily achievable
im quite new here as well joined December of last year. Trust me I know how it feels to not be able to move independently. I’m currently still living with my mom and have to have her as transportation since I dont have my own car. And you’re on the right track with getting your life in order. I just talked with my therapist yesterday and getting a pdoc appointment in February 