I can’t truly open up to anyone about the in detail long suffering this illness has taken on me. I barely even talk about it to my parents. If I try to explain the inner struggle it’s like they look above me, and think oh he’s off and this is not how it is in reality. So if I open up to some of the normally seen as irrational interal suffering, they talk to me like did you take your pills Chris? Do you need to go to a ward? This mentally instability is not a place where you can really empathize trying to think politically, logically correct, self righteous with your own view trying to understand someone with a crazy mind. I was blessed to not have this crippling illness that has stolen my mind my life and spirit in my younger years. And in that mindstate of what I would consider simplistic, or as I would literally consider it heaven nowadays. I’ve suffered more in my left testicle in a month then these people have in two years. You literally under mind me, which I can completely imagine to be a normal response of someone not suffering with this bloody illness. But now I can’t talk of this personal insanity, thanks but no thanks I already understand it’s irrational but it’s what I am living with. Jesus we all are literally looking for sanity or something more then solid to lay our heads. I feel shitty enough having what I have, thanks for making me feel shitter. with the little insight I have I understand their intention can be of good nature along with being rational, but I’m literally dieing if not already dead within, me having to put on the smily forced reality face, when I’m fading away within, and can’t express it without being thrown the book. I understand I’m blessed to even have people close to me in life, this post was mostly written out of anguish.
If @darksith was here, he’d surely give you a hamster hug, but he’s not, so I’ll do it. Hamster hug 
I get the impression that good-hearted neurotypical people tend to respond to the mentally ill by worrying about wanting to say the “right things” and do the “right things”. So I imagine most of them with loved ones with mental illness, go online and look up advice articles on how to respond to a mentally ill loved one. And most of the advice articles have the same canned phrases and procedures, so then it gets easy to recognize them. I recognize when my mother is using canned phrases she likely found on the internet when trying to deal with someone who has Borderline PD (which I think I have). She will try to use some canned validation phrase in the middle of an otherwise normal conversation, like very unnaturally she will say, “I understand that those are your feelings,” and then just stare at me. It’s so fake and awkward and that’s when you know you’re no longer having a genuine conversation with the person. Yeah it’s irritating for sure, but like you I also try to remind myself that they mean well.
I recognize when my mother is using canned phrases she likely found on the internet when trying to deal with someone who has Borderline PD
At least they were interested enough to google it, as you say their intentions are well placed.
Yes that’s how I try to look at it, because it’s true. I don’t think I will ever have truly genuine and healthy conversations with my mother, we have both always been so dysfunctional, but to me it’s a sign that she decided to try, and yes that means a lot.
It used to be ‘what can I do to help’ but finally someone got the clue that that person is not the helpless one it’s actually the person in need
Listening is helpful [quote=“Cj56, post:1, topic:46664”]
anguish.
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You could write more if you wanted to and express what you wish to without “
forced reality face”
People here listen