my standards are too high, i keep thinking i am going to meet the perfect girl and we will live happily ever after (not going to happen) as much as i’d like that to happen i don’t think it is very realistic,
i am not perfect by a long shot and i think most women will probably be looking for that perfect guy and if i was on a list from 0 - 100 i would probably be a low points scorer on the perfect scale esp with my mental health problems as well as other things and thats with it under control.
i think i will have to broaden my horizons, i like women that i can have a laugh with and we ‘click’
and i don’t usually care about looks its more personality, its more inner beauty that i like more than anything, its just so hard to find now if feels like i am looking for a needle in a haystack, most girls are with child at my age which makes it even harder as i was hoping to meet someone without children,
life is so complicated now :s
What is perfect? Perfect as dictated by magazine? Or perfect for you and how you live?
I think that is why people have a hard time finding Mr./Miss “right” because there is a huge gap between what is society thinks Mr./ Miss right is… and what is actually right for me.
A high octane, high maintenance model who is so ambitious that career comes first might be what the magazines say is Miss right… but that is in no way right for me.
Both persons involved have to make some compromises… that’s just part of the deal.
Is it deja vu or was this posted before a couple months ago?
Anyways, I also have high standards which mostly fall into the intellectual, spiritual and emotional categories, though looks are sort of important…I mean she doesn’t have to be a model or centerfold but I really wouldn’t be attracted to what would be termed an unattractive girl.
I did a lot of praying for who I am with and she is one of a kind… one cool thing is we are able to talk about stuff that I couldn’t with most girls.
There is nothing wrong with your wish of having a partner with a beautiful inner self and you are certainly not on the lower standards of women’s scale for choosing a perfect guy. You’ll find her or she’ll find you
I think women prefer men who are confident. While a man might not be good looking, smart, or wealthy, if he carries himself well and projects an aura of confidence then it helps mitigate deficiencies in his attributes.
As far as having standards that are too high, you’re not buying a steak in the butcher shop. Falling in love isn’t passing a test. Do you fall in love with looks? You may as well hang a poster of some celebrity on your wall and kiss it goodnight each night.
You cannot create love. Love just happens. It isn’t fabricated in a machine shop following some diagram.
what if she has a job and is the main bread winner? its meant to be the guy that does that role in an ideal world, i think i would hate it if she was working everyday and me doing nothing, i think that is one of the worst reasons for people breaking up and she would get fed up with me pretty fast.
I was and still am the main bread-winner in my relationship…
No big deal.
And Malvok and J are right…
…as far as the looks go with falling in love: for me- It was the little things, really that made me fall in love. It was the way he always would make an awkward little skip around the table corner… or the way he would gaze outside the window when he was having lunch.
Not looks. Not money… but Personality.
I’m looking for quirky and subtly non-conformist…and someone who can definitely accept what I’ve been through in life. Not so non-conformist that it’s obvious…that can be a bit too much…but someone who can see the world their own way without needing to rely on what they are told nor seeing things so differently that it borders on delusion or anything too out there.
Here I go again though…but really I haven’t met anyone very much to my liking in years. Some who’s path I’ve crossed have taken me in with open arms in the understanding that we would take only what we both needed to heal and leave one another when it came time to…oh here I go again. But as far as looks I don’t put a ton of emphasis on this but there are of course limits to my open minded point of view.
But no, no one I’ve come across in the past several years has really struck my fancy…
I like people to have flaws. If they don’t have any flaws, they are hiding something. I either tell people I take medication for an anxiety disorder (which I do) or that I have schizophrenia. I think the schizophrenia thing should come into the light only if things get quite serious. I have started dating a guy and I have just told him that I take medication for anxiety and that sometimes gag or vomit out of anxiety, which is true. He himself has trouble sleeping and eating and he was worried that I would think he was crazy. I just laughed and told him he was fine.
I prefer innocent flaws like disorders and trauma, flaws like making immature choices are not as palatable to me. Like this girl I dated for like a month- she took adderral to study and was all about getting drunk. Thats immature in my eyes. Having epilepsy is a lot more attractive than that.
Or you could be gay. Lol, JK, you don’t choose to be homo.
But yeah dont look for perfect, perfect is ■■■■■■■■, my idea of “perfect” means messed up to a degree, perfect by most other people’s idea means no problems just happy and healthy. What the **** would a perfectly happy and healthy person be doing with me? Diagnosing me with ■■■■ in a clinical setting, thats what.
My schizophrenic friend only dates whom he calls “f***ed up” girls because he considers himself “f***ed up”
You’d be like old Metime over here. (JK. I did go through a phase in high school where I had a folder of pictures of John Linnell of They Might Be Giants and a newspaper article about They Might Be Giants. They are my favorite band.)
Which leads me to some reflection. I do tend to click on guys’ profiles based on looks and ratings. I’m really getting annoyed with OkCupid and I have to actually save up to pay for those real dating sites. I keep getting emails from them (because I’ve registered, but not payed) and it’s a depressing reminder of my, “look but don’t touch” status.
for me , perfect would be a woman who just accepts me for me
i think in a way ive kinda convinced my self that a woman wouldnt want to date me longterm because of my sz. i know its not true but something i struggle with a bit.
I find it a little ironic that when I was crazy in the head I had far more luck with relationships than I do clean, sober and sane. Though I did meet all the women I dated in my 20’s in some sort of treatment program and my last one was all male so that might explain why I haven’t had much luck relationship wise on my road of recovery. For a good while I was purposefully taking time to myself to figure things out but now I have to admit it goes well beyond this. I also haven’t run across anyone I’ve been remotely interested in. Physically attracted to sure but not genuinely interested in.
i just updated my status on match.com but its a case of i don’t even know why bc i can’t do anything on there unless i pay for it and i have paid before but it didn’t work out on another site
i think i want commitment but i am scared of it if you know what i mean.
Yes, commitment can be scary, but once you are there it is easier to maintain. You’ll find love. It takes time and some house cleaning. You should get to know yourself first. Discover the things that you like to do and do them.
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