No motivation to live -rant

i am in the same situation as @Chess24. I understand you brother. life is unbearable.
sleep is my only escape. life is torture.
my senses are in pain. my body aches.
I wanna sleep the long sleep.
positive symptoms don’t bother me.
negative ones have destroyed my life.
I can’t get up from bed.
I cant do anything.
nothing gives me pleasure.
I have a brain damage.
my brain doesn’t find happiness.
I used to be happy once.
now I am lost.
I dont know who I am anymore.
life is difficult.
everyday activities are so hard for me.
I miss my voices. they were my only company.
I am on such high dose of aps that I can’t have any positive symptom.
positive symptoms are like stimulants that fight the negative ones.


my dear Annette is mute and I am lonely.
i dont enjoy people’s company.
I prefer my auditory hallucination.

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I would like to die but i am already dead


i recently tried alcohol for negative symptoms. but they give temporary relief. family can’t understand. I am not lazy. I am sick.

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who can understand and empathise?

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stigma is tough too. I am sick. I am not a criminal.


family wants to help but there’s nothing they can do. I am hopeless…

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How long have you been suffering negative symptoms
I had them while on stelazine years ago

few months. they get worse everyday.

Early days
Have you tried antidepressants

sleep in greek mythology is brother of death.

I tried them when I had depression. but depression subsided and now I no longer take em. maybe I should. doc increased my dosage of aps in order to control my negative symptoms but admitted that they are hard to cure.

I take seroxat
I have been on it for 17 years
I have different problems but still are frustrating problems
I get positive symptoms breakthrough symptoms voiced feeling being watched
I can only go out mornings to volunteer job
I do very well considering but i am still crippled

I dont mind the positive ones. negatives are so tough

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Positive ones are agony for me

You shouldn’t have come off your antidepressants if we’re helping you

they can be, for sure. what if you had the negative ones too? that would be unbearable. fortunately voices have stopped. otherwise they would have driven me mad…

I hate them they sound real it’s like being mentally abuses

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I dont know. my new doc decides. he is a very good doc. I trust him.

I have no thoughts at all. I am empty in both thoughts and feelings.