I’ve been having nightmares since May 10, 2019. My family and I had a near miss on the on ramp. This has to lead me to believe that the car was sent by one of the white cars. Now I have been remembering the nightmares for the most part. Some nights I don’t but that doesn’t stop the fear or feeling of something missing that I get each time I wake. Sometimes I even wake up with a sense of not knowing where I am.
Sleep scares me. And because of that, I have been wanting to not sleep. So, I’ve been wanting to not take the additional Respirdal that I have been prescribed. But I am taking under the only fact that I have no choice. I also think sleep is stealing something from me but I don’t know what. I have an option of another pill this one to help with nightmares but I don’t want it.
My dreams are the spies-white cars- losing my loved ones in accidents/situations that don’t’ make sense. So here is the SZA and SZ folks out there what would you do if you want to avoid sleep even if people are saying that it is not rational. What would you do in my situation?
Try a hot bath before bed. Then get an essential oil that you find calming (lavender doesn’t calm me down) and put a little on your pillow before you go to bed. Take all your prescribed medicine and then get some sleep. If you don’t take your meds you’ll get sicker and worse. If you don’t sleep you’ll get worse.
Don’t let the fears gain control, @MES. It is possible to know fear without becoming frightened of it. Fear is an uncertainty about a non-existent future. Take it as a challenge. Your brain is going wild, using imagination to dream up worse situations because it is stuck in a fear feedback loop.
You are letting your mental fears control your actions in the real world. I am sza and I used to make the same mistake too. If I were in your place now, I would ask myself:
have I actually been hurt when I woke up from a nightmare after having one during sleep?
are nightmares a threat to my body?
in fact, have any dreams(positive/negative) ever harmed me?
Try practicing light meditation next time you are in bed. When one of your fearful thoughts pop up, dont turn away from it. Experience it. Learn to know what the fear that is frightening you is like. Dont run away from it or let it take control. You can be stronger than that.
You are right about fear. It is that fear that is holding me back.
I’ve just never had nightmares like this since I was a kid (bad nightmares of my grandma dying either right before my eyes or in a large shopping mall with people crowded around). I tried to avoid sleep then but don’t remember how that worked.
Okay. I am going to try what up to have done. (One night I did get 8 hrs so my Fitbit was satisfied with that) I’ve tried yoga one night and I think it helped. I am working on returning to that practice because I love it but had issues with focusing. I will try meditation as well to see if that calms me down so I can (maybe) sleep well.
I get frustrated when I am told I am being irrational. Maybe it was because my CNP was putting it, mater of factly, that I will not be decreasing meds because of the fear/avoidance of sleep.
Thank you for the suggestion. I see, especially today that it is very hard to keep up this sleep thing. I’m having issues with it right now but I had no one to really talk to about it (next therapy appointment isn’t till later this week) and was just plain frustrated.
Have you ever gotten a sleep study done? These could be symptoms of mental illness, but could also be related to a sleep disorder. If there is a physical cause, a doctor might be able to treat you so you no longer have nightmares like that.
Congratulations @MES. Yeah, our physical brains don’t handle fear or uncertainty well. That seems to be true whether you are sz or not. Ever since I learned greater acceptance of most of my fear, I realized that it was something arising in my awareness and only harming me when I reacted to it without really thinking. Rather, when I responded to it, I was aware when I was feeling afraid but I was not becoming upset by the feeling. You have taken another step on the road to freedom.
@Ninjastar It is believed that it is a mix of psychosis/mania and trauma that is causing this sleeping issue. Psychosis/maina that have some bases as probably being unable to see the logical side of needing sleep. Mania mixed in there helping me stay awake. (The Respirdal was usually able to knock me out around 12 at latest especially after more prolonged sleep loss occurred) Trauma brings on the nightmares, which might actually be nigh terrors as my therapist thinks. There is a drug I could take for that but I am hesitant on adding more meds to my daily take.