I have been studying for a course for many years and didn’t try to get a relationship. I never thought I couldn’t get a girlfriend. I just wasn’t trying to.
Now my course has finished and in a discussion on here I was called incel (not true). After my last thread was deleted a few weeks ago, I decided the answer for me was to get a girlfriend and prove I could do it.
So I went on a dating app and found a lady. Even though it’s lockdown and we can’t yet meet, we chat constantly on Whatsapp all day, we send each other lots of video messages and we video call. We love each other. She is pretty enough for me to be able to give her a relationship, as she would need to be.
It is very strange for me to be in a relationship and I have to say that some aspects of this situation are very shocking.
She bases her expectations of me on her previous boyfriends. When she found out about my diagnosis she ditched me at first then changed her mind and we got back together.
Her last boyfriend was extremely violent and controlling. As soon as she told me, I immediately asked if he had any female friends. As expected, she said no – he didn’t have any friends at all. I explained that if a woman goes out with a man who doesn’t have female friends, he will definitely be extremely violent and controlling. I know what men are like.
She told me not to confront him because he will win any fight. He didn’t want her to have any friends, he took her phone more than once (all standard behaviour for men with no female friends).
So now I am dealing with this individual with extreme paranoid beliefs about women’s freedom. I don’t have any paranoid beliefs myself. He is exactly the same as my social worker who is way too paranoid to have had any female friends in his life. My psychiatrist wouldn’t be allowed by her husband to mix with male friends. I have to suffer as a result.
The paranoid delusions in my life are not mine but my social worker’s beliefs. I allow (and encourage) my girlfriend to have male friends. I speak out against oppressive relationships. He deeply feels the need to control me and stop me speaking. I realise now that it’s my liberal views on women that cause my situation with the health service.
I know from my girlfriend that all the women on here would need permission from their boyfriends and husbands to speak to me, which their partner won’t give. The only women to answer this thread will be single.
I say to you women on here that you should all be free to have male friends and my diagnosis of schizophrenia (as if I am paranoid) is meant to stop me from establishing it on here.
I will get my girlfriend to come to an appointment with the psychiatrist and that will solve it.