Hello everyone! I hope you are all doing better. So I went back to school but it didn’t go well. I couldn’t remember the things I read because of my cognitive deficit so I couldn’t pass. I was advised to withdraw and the school administrators were sympathetic to my illness. My dad has started preparations to help me start a business. The advice I need is from those that have had the illness for a while, I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I was wondering what are the upsides and down sides to getting married as a male with schizophrenia. Does the illness make it hard to marry? In my culture and religion is not normal for a person not to marry without a good reason but I’m thinking I can’t marry and support a family. I believe it will be stressful on my illness to provide financial support considering feeding a family, medical bill, children’s education etc. And the thing is there’s no such thing as disability benefits where I’m from. So is it advisable for me to marry or not? In terms of my health I’m much better now, happier and more content with life. The antidepressants and anti psychotic are really helping. I would really appreciate input from you guys with experience
Hey, I’m a female with schizophrenia, so I don’t know how valid my opinion is, but I am married. It is tricky to balance a relationship when you have a mental illness, but not impossible. You have to find a partner who is supportive and understanding, and who would be able to help you out when you are not doing well. Because, no matter how recovered you are, there will always be times when you aren’t doing as well.
There are lots of men on here who are married and have families. Don’t rule it out if it’s something you really want. @anon68237654, @Patrick, @shutterbug, @flameoftherhine, and a few others all have families. They might have advice for you.
For me, I had to start slow. First, I focused on getting stable and sane. Then, I worked on getting a good job. Then, I worked on getting the rest of my life in order. Once I had a life I was proud of, I started looking for someone to share my life with. I think it’s important to do things this way if you want it to last. Back when I was psychotic and underemployed, I don’t think many people would have been interested in me. I wouldn’t have been able to put in the work required to maintain a relationship. Now, I can.
For now, maybe your focus should just be on starting your business. What kind of business do you want to start? Once it’s up and running, give yourself a few months to get used to it. You will probably have worsening symptoms for a little bit, while you work out your new schedule. Once you’re over that, and you have a good rhythm down, then it might be a good time to start looking for a partner.
Thanks, I really appreciate your input. I believe you are right I will just focus on business now and building a life for myself then I can weigh in on starting a relationship. With regards to the business my father is opening a few stores to sell provision and we are also going to engage in agricultural production. I’m glad you are stable with a good job and in a relationship. I wish you the best
I still have times when I am not doing as well. About eight months ago, I had to leave my job because my symptoms got too bad. My husband had to totally support me during that time. But after taking a few months off, I was able to regain my balance. Now, I’m going back to school, and I never thought that would be possible before.
I can have a relationship but I am not able to get married to have children, because I will relapse, isn’t it possible to your country to just have a relationship forever or just get married without children? Also work can make you relapse very easily. You have to be careful with your health.
Wow! That’s great. It’s good that you are going back to school.good luck. It’s important to have support from your loved ones.
Yes you are right. yeah people in my country do get into relationships with out Marrige but it depends on one’s religion. I can’t because of my religion, i must be married before I have sexual relationship.
At least do marry but don’t have children if possible, you can say to others that you can’t have children because of a physical problem, since that may be better than saying you have sz, or just that you don’t want children.
Yeah that’s true. To provide for children is difficult if I do marry I plan to have only one child
It is good to keep in mind that if you have children, there is a 13% chance they will develop schizophrenia. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have kids, but you should be aware of the risks. That way, if they start to show signs, you can get them into treatment early, and they will have a better chance at a full recovery.
OK. Thanks! I would hate to father a child with this illness, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone
We are a happy family. I happen to have had psychotic symptoms in the past and also had a few seizures in my life but on my meds and with the support of my wife and Jesus Christ, I came through. I worked since my diagnosis almost all the time, only was unemployed twice for short periods inbetween jobs. I do well. I feel great. I dont think about any risk of having another breakdown because its been like 18 years ago that I had a full breakdown and I put a lof of time and thinking inbetween that. My father helped me a lof when he was still alive and we also had a family business together until he died around 12 years ago. After his death I inherited a small sum of money and this helped me until this day. We own a condominium and we have a car. We have all amenities to live a comfortable life. I am not saying its all perfect, there is always some insecurity, you just dont know what the future holds but I am pretty certain my wife and I will find a solution. Some of my in laws are also around for additional family support. I dont advice to see everything very negative but it takes time to develop a some confidence, so give yourself time. I married when I was 33 years old, we decided to have a child when I was 40 years old and it was a long and deliberate decicion. Good luck.
I was lucky in that I already had a wife and family when I got sick, so I had/have that motivation to stay med compliant and clean from drugs and alcohol, because those are some of the serious dangers, not taking meds makes things worse, as does using drugs And drinking. Without my family I would probably be a complete mess, judging by the course my life was on, plus adding this illness to it. And even knowing now that I have it, I don’t regret having children. There’s so many things that can go wrong already, you just pray for a healthy baby and deal with whatever may come up. It’s no different for any other parent.
Wow I feel very motivated by your story. I’m really sorry you list your father. A good family support system is really important. Thank you for your input. I wish you the best
It’s good that you were married before your diagnosis. Your wife is a really good person for standing by your side and supporting you. I’m glad you have children. I wish you the best, thanks for your input