Hello! How is everyone? I hope your all doing better hopefully. I was diagnosed with schizophrenia 4 years ago, there have been ups and downs!! Mostly downs but I’m stable now n feeling much better. I’m having doubts on whether I will be able to get married and support a family. I currently don’t have a job but I’m planning to open a store and go into business. I was wondering how many schizophrenics are able to get married n provide for their family! I know there are some successful cases where people are able to hold down a job and start a family. How do they cope?How do you manage to do what seems so difficult for me? I would really like input from someone that’s married or in a relationship
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Paging @cj9556, the superwoman thathas sz, can work and start a family!
And giving my 2cents, you’re a very proactive person phoenix, I think you’ll do alright. Just be prepared for some bumps on the road, but I think you’ll do fine 
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Thank you, I appreciate the advice.
It might be hard to believe, but I have been officially declared “incapacitated” by the system. I’ve often wondered how that affects things like my ability to enter into contracts. I’ve wondered how it would affect my ability to get married. That will never happen anyway because I don’t have the resources to support a family.
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Me too. I bet they’re still smarting from how wrong they were on that score.
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I know you think it was cut you said that but you are pretty amazing pixel.
I don’t know how much of a role model I am. I’m having a lot of struggles with working. But I am employed full time. I’ve had to ask for a few special accommodations, but my bosses are willing to work with me. Basically, I give 110% effort every day I can, and that makes up for the days when I have to be sent home early.
As for relationships, that took a lot of time. I had to work a lot on myself first. I used to be alternatingly clingy and distant, and I used to be attracted to abusive personality types. I had to finally take a stand and say I wasn’t going to date “dangerous” types anymore. When I met Fiancé, I knew he was a much higher class of human that I had ever been with before. So I just tried my hardest not to screw it up.
Open communication is crucial in a relationship, especially for us sz folks. So is self-awareness. I te him when I’m having hallucinations, and he helps me develop coping strategies. Sometimes I get snappy with him, but then I have to step back and say, “Sorry, I’m just having a mood swing. I won’t take it out on you.” When we first started dating, we had to have a series of long talks on respecting boundaries, and we moved glacially slow. You have to find the right person who can handle your crazier moments and help you work through them.
For starting a family, I haven’t done that yet, but I plan to. It scares me, but I know I have a teammate who can step in and help when I’m having an off day. My biggest two fears are that my meds will stop working, or that I’ll pass sz on to my kids. Both are valid concerns, but they aren’t enough to make me stop trying. Having schizophrenia sucks, but it’s not so bad I wish my parents never had me.
@shutterbug, @hedgehog, and @katwomanz might be able to offer some good advice too.
I could
Work until you can’t
Either they fire you or want to fire you
Then make amends with programs
I’ve got two disabled kids
Ive done amazing
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My kids have more character than anyone
I posted our family photo of when it became apparent
When they were 2
But no one responded on here.
It’s obvious though.
Med compliance is important. So is keeping a recovery-oriented attitude. I’m glad my wife is a neurotypical as our daughter needs at least one of us to be stable at all times. A family where both parents suffer from a serious MI is likely not a stable family. Not sure what else to say.
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Kids at first will do what you do then it’s important when they reach a level for you to do what they do.
Too weird pixel?
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I have a family (married and a child aged 8).
It will work if its your main priority.
Wealthy, healthy people can reach many goals in life at the same time: travel, career, family, hobbies - you can most likely do most of those things, but you have to pick. My goal is family and recovery. I am happy with that. (I mean of course you can also work, but make life as easy as you can for yourself and spend your energy wisely)
If you are a female I will warn you that post partum depression is a very real thing and that there is also something called post partum psychosis.
But i think you were a guy?
Anyways. The lack of sleep the first year can be bad for you (psychosis-inducing). There is a risk of your sz genes getting passed on. So why not foster/adopt a slightly older child? Like two years old? Much better than infant!
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I think that’s the whole point of raising a kid – helping them become their own person.
I’m sorry about your illness, I hope it gets better. I’m afraid I don’t have the resources to provide for a family too
You are really brave and hard working, I wish I could give it 110% effort too. I’m afraid of passing the illness to my children too. I wouldn’t wish this illness on my worst enemy if I had one that is.
Thanks for the input. I wish you the best
You’re right! It’s important to set goals and utilize ones time efficiently. I’m a male actually, yes I heard a lot about post partum depression. Wow you have an 8 year old that’s nice, I wish you and your family the best. Adoption is a good option thanks
It’s wonderful that you have kids, I wish you the best that this life has to offer. Thanks for the input
That was the original plan, but I turned out to be not as sterile as I was lead to believe. On the bright side, our daughter is an exceptional young lady.
I am married with 4 children and i work full time. Working and having a family were difficult for me even before I got sick. It takes a lot of work and effort to do it and do it right. It has gotten increasingly difficult with this illness, but it is still possible, and it is fulfilling. Having a family gives me purpose and requires me to work, so that’s what I do. Like @shutterbug said, staying medicated is a very important part of succeeding at these things, as is having a supportive partner. I wish you luck in whatever you decide to do.
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