Need some advice

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So I see my pdoc here in an hour and a half. So I wrote down my issues that I gotta talk about. But I feel like I won’t be taken seriously because I can appear to be very put together while my brain is on fire. It’s how I was raised.

My symptoms:

Paranoia about my aunt finding me and harming me.

Delusions still that I am the son of Lucifer and he is protecting me. Can’t shake this no matter how hard I try.

Last week had an awful episode of HI that I almost went to the hospital.

So that’s kinda the gist of what I’m handling daily. Also need to talk to her about how my prn still just knocks me out. Doesn’t help too much.

But how do I convey all this when I’m so used to faking it til I make it? I could be getting violent thoughts and seem calm.

Obviously something with my meds needs to change.

Advice?

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I have been so angry I took enough medicine to knock me out. I told my doctor what I did each time.

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I would focus on what you’re trying to get out of the meeting.

Do you want a med change or increase?

Do you need them to fill in paperwork?

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I think I need a med change. Cause I’m at max dose of geodon.

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That’s why I like my new pdoc, she’s experienced enough to see through my sh!t. I’ve had strange convictions before too. It’s eye opening that I never knew truth. I still can’t believe that completely.

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Be honest with your doctor

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Then I would list why the current med is not working enough and ask her if there are any other alternatives.

Then you’ll find out if they are open to a change.

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I will be, I wrote down everything. I wanna get this handled before I fall down the rabbit hole even more.

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