Im not doing so well the last weeks and meds dont help, raising them even seems to make me more sad. I feel so guilty, such a bad person. I failed and failed and failed again at something that was real important to me. I was a coward. I failed to break a selfdestructive habit. Im scared i can never be forgiven.
Ive been struggling the last weeks. Im not having delusions imho and im not doing anything impulsive or crazy. I just ■■■■■■ up and i am sad and frightened about it.
Sorry for being so obsessively negative lately. Sorry for asking for help. But would anybody want to talk to me for a bit and cheer me up? Or say something hopeful?
You don’t have to apologize. This place is for people who are struggling and need support. Sorry you’re having such a hard time. This is a hard time of year for a lot of us.
I read this as I’m about to have dinner with friends. I want you to know I do care and I hope someone can talk to you. What did you mess up on? What happened?
Thanks you both!!! For responding, comforting and recognition. For saying that you too have failed at things - I always feel i am the only one messing up.
I do tend to feel real sad around this time of the year always, so perhaps an antidepression lamp might work. I think i have one, somewhere.
I did talk with my nurse a bit, but she is on holiday now.
Yeah i have failed at many things but you have to give yourself a break. That’s just part of life. We have to just learn from our mistakes and move on.
I…I dont know…It is a bit uncomfortable to talk about. I just always had an incredibly hard time dealing with relationships and intimacy in a good way - being abused, stupid relationships, flings, unplanned pregnancy.
I eventually started to believe in Christian values in this area, but i failed to live up that standard. Even after realising i was being stupid and selfdestructive, it took me several years and multiple horrible dating experiences and loads and loads of guilt to finally master the skill of saying “no”.
I feel stupid and it has been running circles in my mind for weeks.
I am a Christian and i will be the first one to tell you nobody expects you to be perfect. We all mess up and when we do we have to move on and try to do better in the future. Beating yourself up doesn’t help in any way.
God doesn’t find you stupid. I can’t say much beyond that because we can’t discuss religion here or they’ll shut the thread down. Maybe the sun lamp is worth a try. I hope it works out for you.
It’s good that you don’t have delusions, and hopefully your positives are in control.
The down mood could be due to not enough sunlight and a lack of B vitamins, because schizophrenia causes you to use them up really fast due to stress. I use a SAD lamp and a good multivitamin to take care of my moderate depression. Without them I feel really empty, it’s a chemical thing.
Hm…I will search the lamp! And try a b vitamin. I was a vegetarian (near vegan) for a while without supplementing. Started to feel bad, so back to non-vegetarian diet. Still not used to eating much meat and dairy though. So vitamines might help. I started fish oil too!
