As some of you know, I am working currently as a day stocker for a grocery store. But as of late, I am doing quite unwell. My schizophrenia is acting up, along with depression and other stressful issues. Some of you may remember when I said I was going to get a castration recently; I have plenty of thoughts of nocous considerations. Suicide, harming myself, and other difficult things is what I’ve been served lately. Unfortunately, I cut myself on Monday, and while I have not done it since, it is still unnerving to think about. My plan of restitution, needless to say, has not gone in my favor or liking.
And this brings me to the issue of work. It is inseparable to my poor mental health. The stress is getting to me, which I fear may not go away if I improve rapidly. But we are working on that by increasing my risperdal dosage, which has helped nominally, but still has helped. And my parents are really discouraged to get me hospitalized due to some “bad” experiences by people they know. I’m in such a pickle as I am expected to still work 3-4 days a week. Its something that has been on my mind, and hopefully I’ll get a medical leave, but I don’t think my parents are big on that.