I sabotaged myself

I was hired at the YCMA and I rescinded the job offer because my meds aren’t working the whole day. I left a message to them that I want to start later instead and she should get back to me on Monday. Now I am getting depressed and I hate myself, doesn’t help that my Dad is very upset about this. I honestly don’t want to work now.

It’s hard work and our anxieties often rule the logical brain.

Talk to your father and let him know why you declined. It’s a tough cop on meds even and it takes time to overcome a psychotic break. I wish they didn’t push me back to work when I had a breaddown. It really set me back but I didn’t know why at the time. I was just existing.

Honestly I think it takes time to get used to the meds from insane thoughts. It really does. Even then it’s something to work through so your stronger next time if you need to work and let your treatment team or family know why you couldn’t do it now…it’s not a choice. It’s reactions to symptoms and medication.

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Ok, thank you. I really thought I was ready then I started to become manic. I think I will try working after I am stable enough to go to college part time. I know that working would add unnecessary stress.

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