I told her today I haven’t been sure of what to talk about, that going over the past is kind of exhausting right now, and she went on and on about how I always say “idk” when she asks me how I’m feeling, which is true when she asks me that I generally just am not consciously feeling anything. I told her it wasn’t very fair to be frustrated with me and act like it’s my fault there’s a divide in communication. I cried a little because I felt like she was judging me, saying I can’t even do therapy right. She assured me that’s not how she felt. At one point she said something like I can’t pull emotions out of you all I can work with is what you give me, I can’t save you. I said “I never expected you to save me, I’m literally just telling you the past is a lot right now” which is making her question if she can even help me.
It’s okay not to know how you are feeling.
Don’t feel judged. If you don’t like the question. Move on to something you want to talk about.
She said it’s how she works, that she can’t shift her modality, and if want something else I need to find another therapist
It was just upsetting because I was simply stating I felt kind of stuck with therapy and I ended up feeling incredibly rejected
That sucks. Are you going to stick with her?
I don’t know, I didn’t have many issues before now with her. It really caught me off guard . But I’ve frustrated other therapists and had a couple quit on me, so it’s nothing nee
If she’s patient with you - just keep working with her.
Therapy takes lots of time. Don’t feel bad about what happened. It took me a few therapist to settle on mine for 3 years. And still sometimes I don’t like my sessions, but actually if I think about all the crisis I have been through, he’s helped me so much.
I’ve never had much success with therapists either. A couple of female therapists even got very angry with me suddenly and ordered me out of their offices and in each case, I didn’t know why. These were very traumatic to the point of me tending to avoid therapy.
Can she send you home with written questions and you bring back the answers in writing the next session? Not all of us function well in F2F conversations and need more time to think over answers.
Try to stick with her though… I had even pdocs frustrated by me…
Maybe tell her , that you fear to be rejected and be left alone without help? 
Others can pull out us a bit from the illness, you need her probably if she’s good enough…
Prayers for both of us 
I never really talk about the past with my therapist. We talk about movies or all kinds of things. If I don’t talk he’ll just usually continue talking. Sometimes he sits kinda silent. It’s not the type of therapy that you think about typically as far as talking about issues and the past and resolving old hurts. I feel better after seeing him though and enjoy our sessions.
Look at it form her perspective. If you don’t want to talk about the past how can she help you? Pretty much all my sessions were bringing up specific people with specific events from the past (whether it be decades or weeks or a few days). I don’t think she’s judging you per say - just saying that she can’t help you if you don’t let her in to your perspective. I think putting up a wall with a therapist is not going to serve you well. I kind of feel like you’d feel a lot happier if you let her into what ever you are keeping hidden.
Similarly how you feel in the moment is of great importance to share your perspective on the subject so even if you find it difficult to articulate or are not feeling something strongly, sometimes saying as such is better than “IDK” which she may be reading as you again blocking her from your emotions/thoughts.
I found it helpful to try and work out things I wanted to discuss before I got to the session. Saying “this argument I had this week really bothered me” or “I keep thinking about X and I need help exploring it” etc. I had so many subjects to talk about my counsellor and I had about 18 sessions.
I think you have to be in the right frame of mind to explore your inner demons and if you don’t feel right doing so its possible that now may not be the right time to be having therapy.
I appreciate your reply but you made quite a lot of assumptions.
I am not putting up any walls. When I say idk, I literally mean I don’t know what I’m feeling if I’m feeling anything at all, and I’ve told her this many times. I have been extremely brutally honest with her about everything, I don’t hold back , I’ve been in therapy for many years and been with this therapist for almost a year meeting every week. I think it’s fair to be exhausted deep diving into trauma every week especially because I was stuck thinking about it all the time. I’m just kind of over it and I wanna move on, this should be a good step imo, I’m not dwelling on the past and I don’t feel distorted in it anymore. This is literally the first time I’ve ever said I don’t have anything to talk about. I haven’t had much happen in the past week, nothings bothering me. I’m not doing therapy wrong.
It was a comment aimed at “Going over the past is exhausting right now”.
IDK how your sessions have gone but it sounds like you don’t want to explore the past, which to me is the whole point of the therapy. Hence what I meant by “walls”
Sorry if I got the wrong end of the stick.
I mean people have different reasons to be in therapy. I’ve spent the past like 6 years talking about my childhood trauma and more recent trauma with my ex. I am just either needing a break or a change in focus in therapy. It’s not that I don’t want to exactly.
I would avoid trauma for a while.
So what do you want to talk about in a therapy session if you don’t want to discuss the past?
And by past I mean very recent events or very ancient stuff.
You can talk about present and current issues.
I don’t know exactly. I just felt I uncovered a lot of crap the past couple weeks that I don’t feel the need to talk or think about the past right now.
Yeah honestly lately a lot of my issues are hallucinations and sensory issues and social cues crap, I’d probably do better focusing on social skills than crying about how the current rejection reminds me of x past rejection, isn’t super helpful anymore