Alright, so I have an issue with my therapist. I always feel as if I ashouldn’t talk about some of my symptoms. She kind of brushes off when I mention hearing or feeling things. Or when I say that people just know everything about me and are all judging me.
She is nice…I just feel as if I am letting her down by not progressing. When I do well and she praises it I feel more accomplished.
However this week I came away feeling sick to my stomach. Like I am lying. I guess I am by omission. I talk more about my family than me. I really need to tell her how I don’t want to drive due to commands or compulsions to wreck. Spacing out. I am a danger so I just let husband drive now. It is safer.
That is something else. Because I am concerned with others supposedly I am getting better. Bit I always care more about others than myself. My whole “thing” is this martyr level self denial. My husband calls it that. I punish myself and suffer even if I don’t have to. Shouldn’t we be talking about me sometimes?
And a big problen is i DID talk all about how things impacted me when in a hospital. I talked for once about how I felt, how things impacted my well being and on my paperworkthy said I had narcissistic personality disorder. So I now avoid talking about me to another extreme.
Always talk to your therapist about issues. When I go I have my dad with me and he helps me explain what I deal with. So maybe talking about it with someone will help.
Bringing your husband to therapy can help too with a different perspective. And if your trying to get a point across, two people saying it can help a lot
I think having your husband go with you is a good idea. It’s not a bad thing that you care about others but when you’re in therapy it has to be about you. I know what it’s like to not like your therapist. I’ve had several that I didn’t jive with. If you feel like yours is brushing you off or not listening, can you request another one? I don’t know what your situation is but that might work out for you in the long run.
I went to therapy for years and years, never talking about my issues. I felt that my therapists didn’t want me to go into them. But, then again, I had many issues. I couldn’t cover them all in 50 minutes. I spent a lot of therapy time talking about my dad’s sexual abuse of me. That was always my biggest issue. Another issue was my death wish of many years standing. My therapists always spent a lot of time on that issue. My other issue was being bisexual. I never had the time to go into that. And psychosis was another issue. My therapists didn’t want to cover that either.
G-d has since healed me of all of these issues through prayer. I no longer have a need for a therapist.
Don’t take it personal. In the hospital, they have a tendency to overdiagnose personality disorders. If I had to take a guess, I would say it’s because there is less need to hold and treat patients with personality disorders. My hospital diagnosed me with BPD, which my psychiatrist actually laughed at.
If you’ve been seeing this current therapist for a while, it’s okay to trust them. It’s okay to be honest. They can’t do their job if you don’t speak to them.
I actually changed to this one because the other therapist I saw was transferred to another place. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to the guy they put me with so I tried this new clinic. It has the pdoc I love. It is hard to find a good pdoc where I am. They all have bad bedside manners.
I think I will take my husband next time. Thanks, guys.