We talked a lot about my self control over agressive thoughts and my behavior pre meds.
I was a firecracker (an old boyfriend used to call me that) because I was so agressive and sweet at the same time.
I had odd behavior when I thought I was being threatened, became violent once or twice towards my mom when I thought she was controled by demons (poor her, all the apologies I gave her isn’t enough, I still feel bad about that).
Anyway, for those of us with that diagnosis how do we deal with stuff? I have intense fears and flashbacks from those times, obsessive thoughts and a lot of self hate and blame.
There’s a controversial treatment for ptsd, it might be no better than normal therapy, but I thought I’d mention it, as someone else mentioned it here a while ago. It could be rubbish but anyway, here it is:
I probably have PTSD but I made it very clear my intention for a PTSD diagnosis was so I could get medical marijuana…because thats the only “mental” illness in my state they prescribe it for. This was 3-4 years ago when I was in a bad state and would’ve done really bad on marijuana (worse than any other time). I don’t suggest that as a viable treatment for your PTSD though.
he would say “nope thats not PTSD” before I could finish my sentence (LITERALLY), i found that very traumatizing in itself that he would downplay my traumas
I’m not like that anymore, on one hand I’m medicated and there aren’t any demons to fight, on the other hand I grew a bit out of it, on a third spare hand I’m sedated too so…
I still deal with a lot of irritability though, but I’m calm in my reactions.
I use Tetris therapy and neurofeedback. Tetris therapy is where you play a puzzle game while talking about what happened to you. The game forces the rational side of your brain to stay active and quiets the emotional side. Then, you start to have less intense feelings when you think about the memories in the future. Neurofeedback works pretty much the same way. I prefer the science based treatments to the emotive ones. My therapist also recommends a float tank, but I don’t want my long hair to get damaged by the salt water. Maybe when it’s short again.
Fiancé and I did our own exposure therapy to get me over my aversion to physical contact.
Tetris therapy I do on my own, with a friend or family member willing to listen. You can make a float tank on your own if your bathtub is huge, otherwise you need to find a place that does it. If you’re claustrophobic, make sure they have open air tanks as well as full isolation ones. Neurofeedback should be done with a doctor until you have enough experience.
I have often wondered whether psychosis can cause PTSD, so now it is confirmed.
I’m sorry you are going through this Minnii. The pleasing thing to me is knowing that you have a good relationship with your therapist so I know you are going to work through it really well.
I hope you have a positive outcome. I’m sorry you are suffering.
Whatever you do, do not re-experience the trauma. That has been debunked as utter crap and if anyone tells you to do it, tell them they need to read the literature.
I think they have me down as ptsd, in my initial assessment they had me down as ptsd aversion to women. Yeah, I have some fear of women thing, I didn’t have my first kiss until I was 20 because of it. I made extreme efforts to avoid women and I had troubles with girls in high school, all of that went as far south as possible at the time, turned out alright as I got older and matured.
Some say I am sexist. I actually think women are less prone to evil and disorder than men because they are. I just don’t feel comfortable with women, especially ones my age I find attractive. I’ve been with a few girls, and they all had struggles with mental illness so it was like I was just with other MI victims who happened to be equipped to bond in ways that I don’t with most other men. I mean this goes in there.
I’m still not comfortable with women. I prefer male environments because it’s really all I know how to be myself in (very direct- no messing around when at work).
Fine with men, they’re not capable of hurting me unless they are gay or bi (I am bi).
Thanks @anon84763962, the truth is I was so used to it that I didn’t even talk to my therapist about it sooner. Just someone here said something (I don’t remember who or what) that triggered the need to talk about it with my therapist. He was surprised to know.
Thanks @HulGil, a big hug to you, hope you’re doing better now.
@mortimermouse yeaaah man, no reliving it okay. I have issues with the opposite sex too. But mine are different than yours, I just don’t trust men in general. I’m trying to change that.
