My Stepdad’s sister held a surprise birthday party for my Mother yesterday. I hate going to any events with her side of the family. They don’t treat me like a human being. They deliberately avoid eye contact with me and usually don’t even greet me when I come in the room. They’re so freaked out about the fact that I’m schizo that it really shows on their behavioral aspects.
When I first got sick, one of them took me on a long walk to a dark and secluded room in the house. They said I could stay there during the party if I wanted to. Really?
My Stepdad’s sister is the worst of them. I have a heated jacket… and when we were leaving, she said it was heavy. She then, very rudely, commented: “You’re probably hiding knives and guns in there, like a mass murderer!”
When they found out I had a heated jacket, they were all very awkward and semi-upset. As though they expect me to be in the poor house because I’m schizo and they were surprised that I had something nice. They are very well off and I thought it was really rude that they couldn’t be happy for me – that I’m doing well and taking care of business with my finances.
I’m at the point where I really don’t want to ever see them again. They’re all very rude, stigmatizing jerks.
The same woman (who made the mass murderer comment) had a look of horror on her face when I was holding one of the family babies. I have it imprinted in my head – she looked at me like I was going to murder the baby.
The one person on that side of the family (a guy who has mild depression; the only one of them that slightly treats me like a person) asked me if I wanted to hold their baby. I said ‘OK’ very hesitantly (because I knew what would happen)… and when I was holding the baby, the woman (my Stepdad’s sister) came in. You could see all of her bottled up emotions about me on her face in one instantaneous moment.
What’s worse is that she is deliberately trying to convince my parents to move away to Tennessee with them in a few years. She knows that I’m very connected to my Mother and that my Mother helps me with meals and so forth, getting me around town for appointments, etc. My Mother is the only one that understands me; that TRIES to understand me.
She (my Stepdad’s sister) doesn’t give a ****. She’s a very insensitive, rude and obnoxious person. My parents are my lifeline and she’d be happy with taking them away, blissfully forgetting about me while she lives in Tennessee in some expensive house. She’s a SUPER competitive person…and I can sense that she’s vying for their favor and competing with me. She gets what she wants all the time and expects to get this, too.
When I came over for lunch yesterday, she said “I WANNA SEE YOU EAT!” – like I should eat ravenously because I’m some poor schizo slob that can’t cook for himself. It was the way she said it… and it’s insidious stuff like this that drives me away from them.
Hopefully you know what I’m getting at – the insidiously stigmatizing things your family says and does to make you feel like a pile of ****. They do it so subtly… and then combine it with not-so-subtle things (the mass murderer comment) to pack a one-two whammy that really knocks me out by the end of the event!
She showed me the cake for my Mother. I said “It’s beautiful!!!.. Wow! So beautiful!!” – and she motioned to her eyes, and said “Booo–Hooo! So beautiful!”, making fun of my emotion for the art of the cake.
I was kind of shocked by the insidiousness of the comment and didn’t know what to say…
My Stepdad LOVES his Sister and has the same attitude about mental illness. He thinks you can just ‘suck it up’ and deal with it. Said to me the other day when I told him I was going to paint a mural on my wall: “Don’t cut your ear off or anything!!”
I have talked with my Mother about it, but the only opinion that matters is my Stepdad’s. He’s in control.
I went to dinner with my Stepdad’s Sister one time (with my Mother and Stepdad)…and was telling them about a person at my apartment complex that’s giving me trouble.
She (my Stepdad’s Sister) said “Just tell them you murdered a bunch of people and they’ll leave you alone.”
What a piece of ■■■■. She’s got a lot of hate inside her. And she sounds really stupid. I’d cut her away from your life and if she ever tries to talk to you again just tell her your not worth my trouble because your mean to me. And I’m jealous of your heated jacket!!! Hehe
